683 Reviews Found

Review #26, by datbenik513 Sweet Seventeen

25th May 2009:
OK, big boy turning seventeen, and it's party time. Harry was never too keen on birthdays since he'd never had them, living with the Dursleys, but this day is different. I loved the twins' gifts, I really did :)

This is also the day when Dumbledore's will's going to be read.

You puzzled me with them so openly wandering around London while the DE are hunting for them.

Also, I was asking myself how one can see on a credit card that it's unlimited. Even a Gold or Platinum CC has a certain limit, but they're certainly not UNlimited. Is the UK age limit 18 or 21 years to be able to buy alcoholic drinks? I remember being refused at the age of 20, even with a photo ID.

Reading on!

Author's Response: Now that I think about it, this would be the first birthday that Harry spends away from the Dursleys. I see him as someone quite fun loving in general. The trouble is that his life has been darker than most's but when things aren't too bad, I see him as someone capable of having a good time.

He's also a bit of a dare-devil and feels very much like Sirius did when he couldn't get out of the house. They do go into Muggle London which should be a lot safer for them though.

Now, Dumbledore's will. Someone mentioned when I wrote this that too much time had passed between his death and Harry's birthday. As it turned out, to my amazament, it was read on DH on Harry's birthday also. Silly coincidence but I thought oh wow! I got that one right.

Now, the credit card isn't unlimited. Hermione said, "virtually unlimited," a bit of a metaphor but basically saying the limit is huge! Lucky Harry!

The required age for drinking alcohol is 18 in the UK. Yes, some establishments may refuse if they are not 100% convinced that they are over 18. Now in the US is 21. Not sure what you got refused with ID. Now, in HBP Dumbledore offers mead to both Harry and Dudley when they were 15, almost 16, so God knows what happens in the wizarding world. I'm slightly using my own criteria here. For instance I'm making the age of consent for sex 16 (like in the UK) although it could be plausible that 17 is the right age for both things since that's when they come of age.

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Review #27, by datbenik513 Revelations

25th May 2009:
This chapter again witnesses several things happening at the same time in the many side-plots.

The DE get their punishment for having missed Harry again.
The kids consider different ideas on the Horcruxes; now that they had to tell Ginny everything, they have to make sure all this remains between them. In the meanwhile decisions are being made whether or not allow the kids, who soon come of age, join the Order, a question not everybody has the same opinion of.

Draco is spending some quality time with Father McKenna while working on Snape's assignment; this time not Potions, rather Muggle magic, as he calls it. The Priest is a good source of information, of course, but time is ticking.

My only point of criticism would be that some of your readers might find it difficult to switch several times between different subplots in one chapter. Other than that, this is a highly addictive fic. Well done so far!

Author's Response: Oh, my God, you have read and reviewed so much now! It's made my day.

Now, one of my tendencies is to multi-plot. It's rather likely that I make it a bit too complex and can lose readers for that sometimes. I'm still undecided as to whether this (having several plots going on simultaneously) is a virtue or a fault. I guess, it's okay in moderation but I can often overdo it. It will all be tied up in the end but some of it may not be revealed after later.

I wrote this before DH and I was racking my brains as to what was it that Dumbledore experenced exactly when he drank the potion. Ginny's dream or vision is a clue (in my AU version). Hermione will get very close to the truth shortly when they are brainstorming. He theory is that Voldy put something in the potion to inform him that someone has drank it...

Ginny, well she's the 7th daughter which according to legent tend to have psychic abilities. You're right in her connection with Harry, also she was possessed in book 2. The closest Harry and her get the strongest the connection between them will be (especially when their union becomes physical, which will do later on) but this is a double-edged sword in many ways.

Draco, well, you know now where I was heading. That kid will have no choice but to grow up quite a bit in this story, although hopefully I maintain his basic personality.

Thanks so much.

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Review #28, by datbenik513 Aftermath

22nd May 2009:
Oh yes. the aftermath of the dreadful events. Two belowed persons were lost and one might ask if the price paid for freeing Petunia wasn't way too much.

To me it's strange that Hermione doesn't even seem devastated by the loss of her mother. I always had the impression that her family was extremely tight, yet, this fact is not visible here.

I have a bet that those unsigned letters are coming from Snape himself.

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

Yes, Petunia wasn't worth the loss of the other lives, surely not but life ain't fair! (evil me!!)

No, Hermione... you may well be right and I'm not 100% sure who Jo would have written her but it's not uncommon to have delayed reactions or not very visible ones (okay, my own mum passed away okay not murdered or anything|) and I was pretty numbed. Okay, blame it on us British! lol I love psychology and I'm unsure everytime about bereavement characterisation because it's so complex. In certain cultures, a certain reaction is kind of publickly required. I go sort of numb everytime.

Ah, Snape??? Maybe not, but Snape will be fundamental in this story.

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Review #29, by datbenik513 Shambles

11th May 2009:
Well, I have thought the cliffy would be resolved in a quite different way. To be honest, killing Fleur and Mrs. Granger in one chapter is way too much. Sad, very sad. And just why on Earth did they have to take Mrs. Granger along AT ALL? What chance did she stand against those killing machines, in a situation which was clearly set up, as Hermione already figured it out beforehand?

Anyway, the machine is set into motion, the hunt after Harry's begun and it's not long before another confrontation is due. Beware of the Weasleys!

Author's Response: It seems that you didn't expect what was coming then. I expected some deaths in DH also. Okay, I killed Fleur to make Molly mad (note that she was expected her first grandchild) and Molly is not certainly someone I would wish to cross. Now, Mrs Granger, yes I appreciate that she had no reason to go with the rescue party but she force herself to side-apparate with her daughter. I guess it was just a motherly reaction. I basically wanted someone in the trio other than Harry to suffer a very personal loss. I can be evil, I know... If you thought this was back I wonder what you'll make of my ending (although I haven't got that far yet - but have had it all planned since before DH).

There will be more casualties but not for a while yet.

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Review #30, by datbenik513 Ancient Lores

11th May 2009:
Every chapter's coming with something unique. This time, the wedding of Bill and Fleur and the adjoining magic of the newlyweds' oath.

Finally, the long awaited talk between H and G. G finally gets some confirmation that H still loves her. I did have a feeling that their dialogue is a bit forced.

Back at the Burrow again, when lightning strikes. Way to end with this cliffhanger! Is it a setup? We'll see in the next chapter!

Author's Response: I wondered and wondered what wizarding weddings would be like. I wrote up to and including chapter 14 before DH. A reader once told me she preferred my version of the wedding. How is that for a compliment! I guess the Wiccan idea of handfasting may have been at the back of my mind but doing it with wands, yeah, I'd love to get married like that! The one thing that nearly spook me is that what Hermione is wearing is almost what Jo wrote! (same colour dress and stuff...) meaningless as this detail is.

Harry loves her, desires her, would rip her clothes apart! lol

Now, I love constructive criticism because that's what makes us all improve. If you ever get the time, would you kindly let me know what you found forced? I'm pretty honest myself when I review (especially amongs us older authors) so I would love to hear more on this note.

Cliffhangers are something that I have grown a little too fond of, of late. I sometimes think they can be a little bit "cheap" like blackmail almost... but I guess in moderation they are ok.

Thanks so much again!

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Review #31, by datbenik513 Confession

11th May 2009:
A very important chapter concerning a conflict between two worlds.

A Wizarding kid and a Muggle priest. You know, when I read a story, I always try to visualize things. Father McKenna is the typical one, as priests of small parishes are always depicted in cheap Hollywood movies. Between 50-60 years of age, shabby, of course of Irish origin, every now and then having deep conversations with a bottle of Jameson. Due to your perfect characterization, these images were extremely vivid.

The collision of a Pureblood wizard distasting Muggles with the Muggle world can deliver some hilarious moments and this chapter has quite a few of them. Extremely well written, on the whole.

Author's Response: Oh, there is another chapter much later on when Harry and Draco take poor old Father Sean to Diagon Alley.

Actually, some readers thought that a Catholic priest ought to be more formal. I see him as a no-nonsense working class background chap who is almost a social worker in all but name. I come from a Catholic background myself (Spanish mother) so I went for a tried and tested faith. I based him a bit on a priest I had as a child who was excellent and on a teacher I had once also. This OC has been quite well received in the main, the other one will be almost the opposite, a very elderly lady who is an upper class English aristocrat and a parapsychologist. I look forward to writing their interaction.

I don't think I'm a master at humour but I like to throw a bit of it in to lighten up what it would otherwise be a pretty dark and sad story.

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Review #32, by datbenik513 At the Burrow

11th May 2009:
Harry's being sucked into the Maelstrom of events. Luckily, he's "saved" from the Dursleys by a whole committee including Fleur. Just curious why she came. Do by the way Veela charms work on Muggles as well? They do, as it seems from the chapter.

Back to the Burrow, where the atmosphere is somewhat awkward. Well, at least between Harry and Ginny. His nobility is understandable, he doesn't want Ginny get into trouble. On the other hand, the Weasleys are indeed blood traitors, so trouble sooner or later will come their way. Preferably later than sooner.

I can clearly feel Ginny is pissed with Harry. Now, in the Harry/Ginny discussion thread someone wanted to make me understand that G understands H and his reasons. Honestly, I never had that feeling and even after reading this chapter I don't have. Maybe that will come after G and H had their talk.

It's just a lust for the eye to read this perfectly written text. Sophisticated, rich English, perfectly making the point and conveying the emotions.

Author's Response: Oh, my God, my head is now so swollen I'm going to have to get wider doors! It really encourages me to continue to write, which I always intended to but have been a bit barren of late.

Veela charms. C'omon you're a guy. I reckon it would work on Muggles, maybe even on the priest! lol I put that scene there for a little comic relief. This story is dark enough in the main.

Harry and Ginny. Well, he's my ideal man and I identify with Ginny... How I view it is that she understands him but that doesn't mean that she is happy about it or prepared to tolerate it. In this story, they will be living under the same roof most of the time, so they will do more than talk... in due course.

In DH, she seems to patiently accept that Harry has to complete his mission first but we don't see Ginny hardly at all in that book so it's not really possible to be certain about her true feelings on the matter. I wrote this before DH and I wanted her involved, even though I guess she wouldn't be in canon.

Harry thinks he can keep her safe but Harry is often mistaken.

Thanks so much!!!

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Review #33, by datbenik513 Truce

9th May 2009:
Wonderful, this one. Both Snape and Slughorn are perfectly in place. I just heard Alan Rickman's voice all the time I was reading.

It seems Slughorn's working on the task Snape's given to him, at least according to Hermione's letter.

More of a question than criticism: In sentences like
It is from Hermione, nice! Harry thought.
would the quotation be put between quotation marks like this:
"It is from Hermione, nice!" Harry thought.

Reading on!
Will you explain later what was precisely Harry and Petunia's talk all about?

Author's Response: Oh, I'm so pleased you thought that both Snape and Slughorn were in character, especially since the readers have been so far very divided on this point.

Alan just plays him wonderfully, doesn't he? It would be hard for me to imagine any other actor playing him after being so used to Alan. Snape will play an important part here also.

Slughorn, well, he's trying...

Now, the way I use quotations is only with actual dialogue, only with words that are in fact spoken. With thoughts it seems that different people do it differently, some people put them in italics. I use italics when it's the character talking to himself/herself as opposed to the narrator quoting the character's thoughts. I think here I should have used italics, though. I'll go and change that. Thanks for pointing this out and well, if someone knows the correct rule, please let me know.

I have had several reviewers saying that they would have wanted this converstation "on stage." My intention was that Harry probably asked her about Petunia's and Lily's childhood, about their grandparents, stuff like that. I haven't got a backstory for the grandparents. Petunia will make some interesting revelations in chapters 6 and 21 though.

Once again, thanks so much!

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Review #34, by datbenik513 Sanctuary

9th May 2009:
Finally, I got some time to sit down and get a good read I haven't had the time for for months.

Right in the first chapter, you raise two serious questions. The possibility of a bad wizard being reformed and a possibility of reconciliation between Harry and Petunia. Now, I need to admit that I see more chances of the first one happening...

Very literate writing, a pure lust to the eye and brain. You haven't won the Dobby for nothing, after all :) I'm hooked and will have to read on.

Author's Response: Oh, thanks so much for starting to read my fic and for your reviews. I know the feeling completely. I'm so behind with so many stories .

Now the reform of a certain wizard, well, he is a major character in this story, so there will be important developments but his whole personality won't change overnight. He's still someone selfish and cunning albeit probably not evil.

Harry and Petunia... There will be developments with Petunia also, confessions even. I see her essentialy as a weak person. So far, she has more or less admitted being jealous of Lily (but I guess she did so in canon even if indirectly).

Wow, great compliment about the style, which is a great motivating factor right now since I have been rather stuck with this story of late.

Thanks so much!

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Review #35, by SiriuslyPeeved Shambles

5th May 2009:
Ack! You certainly chose some shocking people to kill off! (I won't say whom in the review, just in case somebody stumbles across this before reading the chapter for themselves!)

I love Hermione arguing with Moody, that is a wonderful clash of two "know-it-alls". The humor at the beginning of the chapter, even in the midst of very serious plans for action, is priceless, especially the twins. "We are tricksters, if you must know!" ;)

The battle scene is exciting and well done. (and heartbreaking :( ) One teeny typo that stood out for me, "Sectumsempra."

Petunia's past doings with Snape, that's a shocker as well! You're doing such an excellent job keeping readers on our toes.

Author's Response: I'm so glad that I'm keeping you intrigued. I planned some of the deaths before DH and I didn't get them quite right but they serve the purpose of my plot. Could you see it coming though? I thought there were slight clues but hopefully not obvious ones. I basically wanted some deaths early on (I suspected early casualties in DH) and I thought that it would be in order to make another member of the trio (other than Harry) suffer a very personal loss.

Moody and Hermione, yes, I could see them clashing. In canon they don't interact so much in year 7 and I'm writing my trio here as people who regard themselves now as adults, on an equal footing with the older members.

The twins are hard to write but so much fun!

Thanks for pointing out the typo. As I said, I never manage to catch them all. I'll go and put that right.

Petunia well... I'm not necessarily talking about Lady Chatterley's Lover here but there will be more on that backstory.

I'm so pleased with your reviews. You're a star!

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Review #36, by SiriuslyPeeved Ancient Lores

5th May 2009:
Another well-written and entertaining chapter. I love how Harry's point of view comes across so strongly, highlighting the things Harry would have found most important at the wedding. (food, Ginny, drink, Ginny, other guys looking at Ginny, parts of the mystery he's trying to unravel, Ginny again :) )

Ginny and Harry's romantic encounter (despite Harry's impaired condition) was funny and sweet, and I was smiling throughout the whole thing. Harry's scar was a nice touch at the end.

Author's Response: Oh, thanks so much again. I thought that the wedding had to have a wizarding element to it but yes, it's mainly written from dear Harry's point of view.

He's actually a bit drunk but not as badly as he makes out, enough to get a bit of Dutch courage though. I knew those two couldn't stay apart for ever. In fact, it more or less went that way in canon too, when they kiss.

The trouble I'm having with this story is that I'm trying to include a bit of everything: action, mystery, romance etc and is thretening to become the longest thing ever.

I'm so pleased you enjoyed it. It is very encouraging.

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Review #37, by SiriuslyPeeved Confession

3rd May 2009:
I absolutely love Draco's scene with Father McKenna. It is beautifully done. Muggle and Wizarding worlds collide in such a well thought-out way. I'm intrigued at how Father McKenna and Draco, using the word "Lord," are just missing each other's point so completely. For Voldemort, organized-crime boss is actually a very good parallel.

Tiny quibbles from my inner copy editor: Your chapter image seems to be broken on this page.

In the first paragraph, you use "ok" as the last word rather than spelling out "okay." Could be a typo, or it could be an okay ;) spelling in UK English, but maybe worth checking into?

Author's Response: I often like to include a little humour in what is essentially a drama story. There is a chapter later on in which Father Sean is taken to Diagon Alley. I'm tempted to tell you more but don't want to spoil it.

One of the advantages of writing fanfic is that we don't need to keep the story suitable for a younger audience; for instance, I don't think Jo could have included Muggle religion without starting up yet more controversy.

I'll take a look at this image and see if I can fix it. The okay thing, well I think we use the abreviation in UK English but since various people pointed out, I started writing it in full. I'm still not sure if using the abreviation is correct or not but, as I'm in doubt, I'm now using the full word.

Thanks so much again.

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Review #38, by SiriuslyPeeved At the Burrow

3rd May 2009:
I'm continually floored by all the parallels between your story (which, I know, you started well in advance of Deathly Hallows' publication :) ) and the book itself. I was laughing out loud when Vernon Dursley was ogling Fleur. What would he have said if he knew she was part-human? Great humorous touch :)

I think I actually like your take on Ginny's fury at being left behind better than the book's version. I found it difficult to believe that the hot-tempered Ginny would let it go as easily as she did in the book.

There are a few tiny errors here and there (the spelling of Voldemort; some punctuation missing) and when you next do a revision, I'm sure you will catch them. Wonderful chapter, and I'll be reading along.

Author's Response: Oh, damn, my response has disappeared!

First of all, thanks so much for continuing to read and review. It's most appreciated.

I wrote like mad at first because I wanted to have a clear idea as to this story as I knew that DH would influence me. I had the ending worked out before hand and various other plot devices. Now, the difficulty I have now is with the points I hadn't decided on because sometimes I can't decide whether to stay canon or depart from it.

I identify a bit with Ginny and I could imagine her being rather annoyed although she won't stay mad at Harry forever. I wanted her to have been more involved in DH but I guess it might have detracted from the main plot. She will be an important player here.

Thanks so much for mentioning the errors. I keep missing them! I'll take another look.

I'm so pleased that you're enjoying this story so far.

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Review #39, by SiriuslyPeeved Truce

1st May 2009:
Snape and Slughorn have an intriguing scene. I absolutely love Snape's words with his old teacher, they had me rolling. In my reading, Slughorn has always walked that line between appeasing the Death Eaters and safeguarding against them, too cowardly to really put himself on one side or the other. I like how you have him admit to his fears, if only to himself.

I love Hermione's letter, you have her voice down to perfection.

I think you have a wonderful sense of Harry's character. His ending to the chapter, where he just chucks the difficulties of real life for a Quidditch book, is pitch perfect.

There are a few isolated typos in this chapter, but nothing serious. For example, you have a few quotation marks where apostrophes should be. Thanks for your indulgence in letting me point these minor things out to you. :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much again! On the contrary, please feel free to point out errors. We all make them and I seem to mistype things a lot and fail to notice them. I'm so pleased you like my characterisation. I totally adore most of the HP characters so it's important to me to get them right or at least close. Slughorn always intrigued me a bit since he doesn't seem to play one side or the other, at least not openly. I could believe that Snape is pretty capable of intimidating him. Harry just feels completely overwhealmed by it all so yeah, read something that is escapist, best policy! I'm glad you liked Hermione's voice. Once again, thanks so much!

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Review #40, by SiriuslyPeeved Sanctuary

1st May 2009:
I am intrigued by Draco's decision to accept sanctuary in a church, and by the beginnings of your story. It follows that Snape would be privy to esoteric research on the intersection of magic and Muggle religion.

I have a great interest in Lily and Petunia's relationship; I think you presented Petunia's reaction very nicely. The pacing in the scene with Harry and Petunia is excellent, especially how you draw in little details to keep the scene "grounded" in the room.

I may not be able to hit every chapter, but I'll try to cover quite a few in the upcoming weeks :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much. I have replied in Gluttony but I don't seem to be able to cut and paste my response so I'll write it again to the best of my memory.

I wrote this story before the publication of DH and I couldn't think of an interesting place for Snape and Draco to have ended up. I was convinced that Voldemort was likely to be angry with both, with Draco for failing to kill Dumbledore and with Snape for disobeying his Orders. My inspiration from this was very sudden and is based in the medieval law custom I explained and I thought it could give this story an interesting twist.

Now, Lily and Petunia, well and Sevvy will come into place later on in the story. I'm amazed that I guess that they knew each other (Petunia and Snape) but there will be more on that later.

I'm very very pleased that you took the time to review these two chapters so please don't worry, review what you can or what you feel like. Honestly, I totally understand also that we all have lives! Thanks so much. x

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Review #41, by celticbard Nothing But the Truth

29th April 2009:
Hi morgana!
I'm here to review your fic as requested! This was a lovely chapter, in which Harry's growing alliance with Draco really begins to take shape. I truly enjoyed their interaction. It was fascinating. They're both obviously trying to play it safe while at the same time, they are forced to negotiate with each other.

Draco's meeting with Father McKenna really added to the tension. I enjoyed his attempts to make it seem as though Harry was his best mate. ^_^ Also, the priest's reaction to being confronted by the wizarding world was quite realistic. I'm a practicing Catholic myself and I was actually discussing ghosts and exorcisms with my priest recently. Father McKenna's take on the situation was spot-on. ^_^

It's also nice to see Harry finally striking out on his own. He no longer has to rely on the "charity" of the Dursleys and it is clear that he's starting to feel a bit more confident. Good for him! ^_^

Again, I really enjoyed this chapter, morgana. Feel free to drop by my queue any time and request another review. I hope you have a great week!


Author's Response: Thanks so much honey. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. I did try to build Draco and Harry's relationship slowly because yes they are going to have to co-operate in this story but that doesn't mean that they are able to warm up to each other immediately.

I'm particularly impressed with the fact that you like my portrayal of the priest. Obviously not all priests are the same but I wanted him to come across as a hands on approach type who is relatively open minded.

Harry is of age now and he's a pretty independent person. That apartment building actually exists, shame that I can't afford it! lol Harry sees himself definitely as an adult here.

Have a lovely week yourself! x

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Review #42, by Labby Grasping at Straws

6th March 2009:
Oh boy.. I guess Draco's really coming to see more of Harry's side of things. He gets to view Umbridge in a not so pleasant manner, as well as having to hide something for the better of everyone else. I think they could eventually crack him.. but I'm hoping Harry and the others will get to him before all of that happens. Or at least Percy.. maybe Percy will come through. I forget if we ever get a mention of Percy being good or not, but I'm still hoping his Weasley goodness will come out soon. I just have to say that I think you've done an excellent job of Harry's character throughout this whole story. It just seems spot on to the character that JKRs creating.. just reading about Harry wanting to help and Kingsley holding him back is such a great example of your ability. Of course Harry's going to try to get involved, even if it's not for the best.. hurting himself in the process. He's the hero, he wants to do it. As always, I look forward to reading more. Excellent chapter!

Author's Response: Yes, I thought I give Draco a taste of what's like to live Harry's life. Evil me! They will find out that the phone is Harry's though. Percy, well... interesting observation. As the story stands at the moment, I know it is extremely long and it's impossible to remember everything, he paid a visit to Voldy in chapter 21 at his ice castle...

I'm so pleased that you like the characterisation, especially Harry's since so many people find him very hard to write in character. I do try and I just love him to bits, so hopefully I can get into his fictional head! lol I'll try not to take so long writing the next chapter. I had serious writer's block on this one and it took me months. x

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Review #43, by SpringTime Grasping at Straws

4th March 2009:
Umbridge is absolutely horrible! Of course we already knew that, but really really horrible in this. So I am here as promised, and you didn't have to remind me or anything. It has been a while, but thankfully I can remember most of your story as it was very enjoyable (still is). I really feel for Malfoy and hope that they are able to rescue him soon (along with Harry's invisibility cloak). I hope Percy gets smacked in the face as well, or maybe killed, either one would make me happy.
Sorry that this review is not very detailed, I think I might be a bit slap happy today. Anyway, great update and I look forward to you letting me know when more are coming :)

Author's Response: Oh, thanks so much. Umbridge, yes we love to hate her, don't we? I'm sorry I took so long to update. I was pretty stuck on this chapter for some reason. Well, the phone is also going to cause some problems and the cloak was very unfortunate. Umbridge will get her comeuppance though, eventually. Percy, well... cannot reveal too much...

Hopefully I won't take quite so long to update. x

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Review #44, by celticbard Truth and Dare

2nd March 2009:
Hi morgana!
I'm here to review your fic as requested ^_^ Poor Mrs. Weasley! I just wanted to reach out and hug her. The news of Percy's betrayal was such a shock and I suppose it was only natural for her to react with such anger and sorrow. I'm glad she has Harry, Hermione and the rest of her children for comfort. I am, however, anxious to see what Percy does. Will he approach his mother and will she rebuff him completely? You've set up a fascinating conflict here.

I also really enjoyed Malfoy's appearance in this chapter. His hesitancy is both realistic and intriguing. I do feel sorry for him, even though I'm not entirely certain he deserves my pity yet. Harry has quite a challenge ahead of him, though, if he wishes to find out more about Narcissa's death. Something tells me Draco will be quite reluctant to disclose the little he knows.

I only noticed a few minor errors in this chapter. They are as follows.

"Harry has been more of a brother to me that Percy all these years
This should be, to me than Percy

She went up to Harry and gave him a hug, one of her usual ones but, this time. Thick tears were covering her face.
This should be one sentence, I think...one of her usual ones, but this time, thick tears...

Yes, he was related to the bride and her parents have tried to help him after his mother died but still,
This should be, parents had tried

James and Sirius would have been so happy for him if they could see him now, which such a lovely bride!
This should be, see him now, with such a lovely bride!

As always, please feel free to drop by queue and request another review. I'd love to continue reading. Have a great week!


Author's Response: Thanks so much once again. You are so good and throrough. Poor Molly indeed! She's in complete denial and the only thing that saved Harry from more of her temper was the fact that he had a very narrow escape healthwise. Molly truly does love Harry as one of her own, or almost, but there will be various instances in this story when she is truly mad at him. Of course, here it's not Harry's fault but he is the bearer of very bad news. As you saw in a previous chapter, Percy "has" to contact Molly. Now, I have something out of my sleeve here too, and someone may make the first move before he does.

Draco, well, Harry needs to find out what Voldy is actually doing as he seems to have found a way of killing/making people sick from a distance, which is a rather worrying new skill. Draco has a request of his own to make of Harry, which will bring back into the story an OC that you have seen a couple of times before.

I'm so pleased that you are enjoying my silly multi-layer plots. Thanks sooo much! x

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Review #45, by Georgia Weasley Persuasion

27th February 2009:
You have Petunia written so on spot. She is so snotty, but a little jealousy and curiosity overrule her superior attitude every time. Snape's background with her is very interesting. It leaves you to wonder if he really was trying to get close to Lily again, or if he honestly liked Tuney's company. I'm betting on the former, rather than the latter. The little details you add, like the argument with the ticket inspector and Petunia's dishwashing, make this story so good. Well done!

Author's Response: Thanks so much, Shanon. I'm glad you liked Petunia in this chapter. I think I got some funny idea before DH from something that JKR said that there was more to her than meets the eye, but I guess she was referring to them living in the same location or that she thought of something in those lines but decided to live it alone after all. I see her just like that snotty but very curious and fairly jealous of just about anyone. I would say that yes, probably Snape just wanted to get closer to Lily. I could imagine Petunia as a pretty lonely teenager also. She would have friends at school, no doubt, but maybe not very close ones.

I thought the ticket scene would add a little humour and gave me the opportunity to get the Apparition test out of the way, somehow.

I'm so pleased you are enjoying my story! x

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Review #46, by twixie Grasping at Straws

26th February 2009:
I've waited a long time and it was worth it! Poor Draco-and what is Percy doing?!!! OMG-you nailed Umbridge! I just loved the whole chapter!!! Well worth the wait!!! I hope Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny can get him out of there!


Author's Response: Oh, I'm so sorry about the wait. I had the most awful block ever with this chapter. I'm glad you are still keen on carrying on reading.

Percy, well he is Umbridge's right hand but watch for possible developments. Bear in mind that in chapter 21 he went direct to Voldemort...

The trio, Ginny and the Order are trying their best but they have no leads so it should be, well, interesting (hopefully!).

Thanks ever so much. x

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Review #47, by Bella_Portia Grasping at Straws

25th February 2009:
First of all, I think you got Umbridge exactly right. Candy-floss pink draperies -- ugh!

I was so impressed with that Order meeting/Grimmauld Place scene -- specifically, with how you managed to balance all of those characters and all those POVs, while remaining true to each. Arthur compassionately empathetic (arenít you identifying yourself with him too much ), Moody suspicious, Molly pragmatic, Kingsley slightly imperial -- I think you did a great job with this, while getting out the information you needed to get out. ("Draco in Malfoy Manor! What were you thinking, boy?")

But the best scenes were the ones involving Draco, Umbridge and Percy. I thought the interrelationship between Dolores and Percy was especially interesting -- how oddly deferential she seemed, even while seeming to be in charge. It seemed like an indication of her lack of confidence.

I liked the way you handled Dolores' character. She was smart, in her way -- like a politician. She was also as unscrupulous and cruel as we know and love her.

This was most certainly a leading question. -- I would say a "loaded" question, although it's not quit that. A loaded question has an incriminating assumption (Are you still beating your wife?). However, a leading question implies its answer, which this question does not.

Overall, this was a fantastic chapter, well worth the wait. Once again, I thought your handling of Dolores and Percy was just terrific.

Author's Response: Oh, thanks so much. I must get to your new chapter very soon too.

I'm so pleased you liked my Umbridge. I was convinced I couldn't capture her at all, possibly hence I was so scare of this chapter. You were very observant on the Percy/Dolores interaction. Yes, she is almost relying on him for advice and he is getting promoted really quickly. There will be more on Percy of course.

I was also worried that the scene with the Order was going to turn out boring because they are brainstorming over ground that individual members on their own have covered before, like Hermione knowing who sealed the Room of Requirement and why etc.

Now, the "leading" question, I think what we seem to infer from that expression in the UK is a question that force you to go where you didn't want to, in this instance that whether or not he knew his mother had died would force him to indirectly admit whether or not he had been in contact with the wizarding world during the period he's been "missing" but I may very well be wrong. I'll try to check that one out.

I'm ever so impressed that you enjoyed this chapter. I thought I would never get it finished.

Thanks so much! x

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Review #48, by Karkaroff Grasping at Straws

25th February 2009:
Excellent idea and I hope Draco can escape from Umbridge and her lackeys. Please write more as I am enjoying the story.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review and for reading the whole story and I glad you enjoy it. Well, I can't quite disclose if he escapes or not. Umbridge is not all that efficient but things aren't looking good for Draco...

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Review #49, by NevillesSoulmate A Belated Gift

24th February 2009:
The use of Dobby was brilliant! And him giving it to Harry in a hand-knit sock was a cute touch. ;) Very interesting chapter, and Ginny's dream was intriguing!

Author's Response: Rose, thanks so much, honey! I always thought that Kreacher had had something to do with the locket, although I also thought that Mundungus was a strong possibility. Of course, they are unsure as if this is the real think because it hasn't got Slytherin's emblem.

Ginny's dream, well, there is an interesting connection running three ways between Voldy, Harry and herself. The connection between Harry and Ginny will strengthen as their relationship becomes more physical also but it can be a dangerous three way situation.

I'm so pleased you enjoyed this chapter and thanks so much again for the lovely chapter image. x

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Review #50, by celticbard In the Moon Light's Shadow

24th February 2009:
Hi morgana!
I'm here to review your fic as requested. This was a great chapter, both complex and emotional. I love Voldemort's attempt at using psychic means to attack Harry. It almost reminds me of Freddy Krueger, who would come after his victims when they were at their weakest, during sleep.

Poor Mrs. Weasley! She's such a wonderful mother. The knowledge of Percy's betrayal will break her heart. I just hope Percy won't use her love against her.

I also really enjoyed the tarot reading. The symbolism was quite intriguing. You must have done a lot of research to get that scene just right ^_^

I only noticed a few minor errors in this chapter. They are as follows.

He shouted his friend's name several times and, when he received no reply, begun to panic.
This should be, began

It dawned onto him that Harry was unconscious
This should be, on him

"Hermione, it was so real that it make me pass out
This should be, made me

I can't not even explain..."
This should be, cannot even

Will Granger looked at his daughter, still on her dressing-gown
This should be, still in her

Hermione caught his father's gaze and was the first to speak
This should be, her father's

"By the way, Remus and Nymphadora had just got married
This should be, have just

Hermione rolled her eyes sceptically.
This should be, skeptically

The moon on the horizon, flanged by two identical pillars.
I think you mean flanked not flanged here

it also represents innocence and impusiveness
This should be, impulsiveness

Please feel free to drop by my queue any time and request another review, morgana. I would love to continue reading this fic. Have a great week!


Author's Response: Oh, thanks so much again. I'm glad you like this chapter. I thought that Voldy would be likely to wish to exploit the mental connection between him and Harry. Harry can be impulsive and he tends to disregard danger so he makes himself an easy target.

The situation with Percy is going to be very traumatic for all concern.

The reading, well, I'm familiar with Tarot cards myself although I made Ginny read some of it from a book because I doubt Trelawney's instruction has been that great and also to get away with making it more literary. If these were Ginny's words it would sound a little over the top.

You'll see Molly's reaction in the following chapter. Thanks so much for offering to review again.

As always, you catch mistakes that are just so silly and careless on my part. I have now made the amendments with the exception of scepticim -v- skepticism (the later being the US spelling).

Thanks so much. x

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