Reading Reviews for Stay and Suffer
  
37 Reviews Found

Review #26, by XxWoahthatswickedxX Stay and Suffer

14th September 2007:
Stories like this make me hope that Fred's death really did only happen in fan fiction.

I thought that your story was very good, although I thought that it would've been a bit more angsty.

Good job overall though!
I'm XCentaur on HPFF!

Author's Response: :[ i really wish she hadnt killed him.

anyway, thanks so much for reading&reviewing!!!!! :D

-nora.


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Review #27, by SevenDeadlySins Stay and Suffer

14th September 2007:
It made me cry, and nothing ever makes me cry anymore! That was so sad... I can really relate, the characterization is so believable. You might consider a beta, but it's very well written.

Author's Response: hehe, im happy i made you cry. :D that was my goal. THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!!!! :]

-nora.


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Review #28, by Zacharias_Smith Stay and Suffer

14th September 2007:
Ohh gosh Fred's death was the most heartbreaking of all (besides Remus, for me) and obviously that's going to be hardest for George. I like how you've shown how he feels years later, instead of just the initial grief, as this shows how much of an impact it would make on him, through his whole life.
Okay you asked me to discuss grammar and George's feelings so I'll go into that a bit...
There were quite a few minor errors, most of them seemed to be of the typo kind - a few examples:

part of you dyes away

because at the mention of your name and I feel helpless.”

Sure it was quick but Fred would have wanted the last thing he did was to laugh.

Never once wasting time with teaching them pranks, he had won all of their deepest admiration.
- this one I'm not sure if it was a mistake or not but the meaning was a bit vague? Does he teach them pranks or not?

The emotions were quite powerful - the outburst near the start was good and I liked how his emotions were changing and developing at this time. The ending, though, for me, seemed a little...I don't know, rushed, maybe. Perhaps it was just the actual dialogue that put me off it -

“You can’t possibly understand, mum. Besides, it’s not like Fred isn’t with us. He’ll always be with us. As long as we don’t forget him, he’ll live inside of us forever.”

...That, to me, could have been written a little less awkwardly and it just seemed a bit too much. I don't really want to say cheesy but it bordered on that - maybe more like cliched. Somehow I think George would find a different way to express those sentiments.

I think the whole thing with him suddenly coming back from America with his wife and son was odd. I liked it, because it showed an impulsiveness and over the top rashness that was very true to life, but also I saw it as something that was probably done for the wrong reasons and wasn't going to solve his grief automatically. However, I wasn't sure if this was how you meant it. It came across as supposed to be very happily-ever-after and the wife and kid solve everything, which I just don't think rang true. It also seemed as though George paraded Cloe to his family a bit like a piece of meat, and we didn't really get to see what she's actually like or anything. I don't know, it just felt like there could have been a lot of depth and a lot less simplicity to the whole situation, but you kind of left it shallow.

I hope this doesn't sound too harsh! I don't mean it like that at all, I just want to look at suggestions for improvement and give my 100% honest opinion. I did genuinely enjoy this story and I thought George for the most part was characterized extremely well. The idea of selling the joke shop in the start was great and his going away to the US to sort of 'clear his head' was good and belieavable. I liked James in this so much!! Anyway, overall it was very good, but I think the emotions could have been made deeper (although they were actually well described already, I just think you could push it to the next level perhaps).
Keep writing!
x Katie x





Author's Response: yeeeeee thank you so much for your fabulous suggestions!!!! i really appreciate it SOOOOOOOOOO much!!!!!

and thank you so much for taking the time to read and review!!!!!! :D

-nora.


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Review #29, by _NymphadoraTonks_ Stay and Suffer

13th September 2007:
OMG!!! This was like THE best story I have read in quite a while! It's so AWESOME! I LOVE IT! It's sooo well written, so well thought out, so well EVERYTHING!!! I cried so much...for a matter of fact, I'm still crying...I'm EXTREMELY sensitive about Fred's death... Anyways, back to the story, it was AWESOME!!! I LOVE IT and I cant say it enough! It's so cool, though I might have written what happened in America a bit more in detail if I would have been you, I cant find anny other bad things about it.Its sooo good, I love the whole story, and your descrptions are AWESOME!!! I mean I cant even describe them! *laughs* anyways, all that to say that youre an awesome author and that Im sure youll go far in life! Keepp it up, the world needs more authors like you! Anyways, Keep it up and dont forget that youre an awesome author!
~Nymphadora~
(And yes, my REAL name IS Nymphadora...which I find cool ever since I learned Tonks' name!!! :D)

Author's Response: OMG THANK YOU!!!!!!!!! you made my day!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!

and thats so cool! i wish i had a HP characters name!! :D

-nora.


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Review #30, by hmrpotter Stay and Suffer

13th September 2007:
I loved it...Fred's death hit me the hardest in DH, and I am always wondering now how George coped with it.

Author's Response: yep, me too. so i wrote this! :P
thank you!!!!!!!!!

-nora.


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Review #31, by nana_banana_xx3 Stay and Suffer

13th September 2007:
Hey there! I've obviously come to leave that you review. :)

I'll be the first to admit that Fred's death killed me. I was devastated. There were only two others that got me more than his did. Remus and Sirius. I think I was just so completely shocked. I came close to hyperventilating actually. I just couldn't believe it.

So, I'm glad that you've taken on George and how he's handling it years later. Snaps go out to you for that, deary. Your flow was pretty nice as well.

You wanted me to touch on the emotion, so I shall do that now. I think that you did a pretty good job with it. However, I think it was almost too much all at once. The outburst at the beginning I felt was a bit unnecessary. I know that for me, I would have liked it more if he had kept all that inside and just announced the closing of the shop as if he was talking about the weather. That's just my opinion though.

Also, I felt like it was very rushed. I think that you could have stretched this story out into a novella or maybe even short story. I would have loved to read about how he met Cloe. That might have been a better place for him to have his outburst.

I did like the ending though. I loved when George went to Fred's grave. That was well done, I thought. :)

Overall good job, sweetie. ^_^

nana_banana_xx3

Author's Response: thank you soooooo much!! im very happy that you gave me suggestions! THANK YOU!!!!! :D

-nora.


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Review #32, by snape_is_good Stay and Suffer

13th September 2007:
*sobs* *sobs louder* *wails* You needed to put a kleenex warning on this!!! *blows nose* This story so far is my absolute #1 favorite I've read on this site!!! Nicely written! The descriptions were brilliant!!! I LOVE the quote at the beginning!!! That's so true! Did you come up with that? It sounds so...I don't know how to put it...I guess professional is the word that fits best!!! GOOD JOB!!! And I'm glad the ending was happy, *sniffles* otherwise I'd be hogging our kleenex box for quite some time!! You're really good at the descriptions and everything!!! I shall reward this excellent story a 987654321123456789987654321/0! GOOD WORK NORA!!! :D
p.s. the 1 and only reason I'm not saving it to my favs because I promised myself I'd never put completed ones in there. Even if something is in there now as soon as it's completed I'm taking it out. Trust me, I'd get confused if I didn't! :P I'm too easily confused!!! Oh well. Once again, this was DEFINATELY my favorite fanfic I've EVER read!!! CONGRATS!!! ;) :) :D :P

Author's Response: omgggggg *blushes like crazy* THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im soooooo happy you liked it and thank you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo MUCHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *hugs*


-nora.


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Review #33, by Rupertluver2012 Stay and Suffer

13th September 2007:
i have tears in my eyes.
This is brilliant.
I think I'm going to go and bawl in my room again.
As I feel like doing every time I read a story about George missing Fred. I have no idea how he made it through all those years with someone who was his other half as literal as it sounds.
I feel so upset. Just thinking about Fred is enough to make some cry.
He was probably one of my favorite characters... honestly... he and George were great!

Ah, I'm so sad.
I'm just going on and on and on.

But I can't help it.

It was a wonderful, brilliant story.
I love how James took after Fred and George. That's downright cool!
(:

And how he finally found happiness. I am also glad you paired Angelina and Lee together. That's always who I thought went together best. I always pictured Fred with Alicia.
And George with Katie.

But George and Cloe are good !

You are a great writer!


billion trillion kabillion/ 10.

(:

*chow*


new add to favorites XD

Author's Response: i know what you mean. when i read the book, i couldnt stop crying. i cant believe she killed him!! :[ *bawls*

i was gonna pair off George with Katie but then i wanted him to be with a fellow joker, to put him back in his place.

thank you soooooooooooo much!!!!! this review made me blush so bad!!! THANK YOU!!!!!! and awwww a fave too??? your brilliant!!!!! thank you!!!! :D *hugs*


-nora.


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Review #34, by Oh_Skrewt Stay and Suffer

13th September 2007:
I love what you named Charlies son. I know it means little wolf and I thought about using the same name for his kid!!!

Author's Response: thank you!!!!! hm, really? i didnt know that. XD i learn something new everyday. thanks!!

-nora.


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Review #35, by Hell_Hath_No_Fury Stay and Suffer

13th September 2007:
very good. poorpooorpooorpoor george. i dont know how he survived freds death!!! i can believe jo actually killed him off! i was heartbroken!!!
this stroy captures that very well!!! congrats!

Author's Response: thank you sooooo much!!!! i know!!! i was like "WTH YOU MEANIE!" :[

thanks for the review!!!

-nora.


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Review #36, by silver_d0e Stay and Suffer

13th September 2007:
That was amazing. I'm glad that you had George being sad at the beginning, because I think that's exactly how he would be after losing his other half. But it made me smile when he got the twinkle of mischief back in his eye. This really was incredibly written. 10/10

Author's Response: thank you sooooo much! im so glad you liked it! mhm, i tried to make him lose his twinkle of mischief then get it back- happy it worked! THANK YOU!!

-nora.


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Review #37, by GriffinClaw Stay and Suffer

12th September 2007:
Great job. The emotion was done so well. By the end, I really felt George's sadness, but also his understanding. The ending paragraph was the perfect way to end it. It's kind of like 9/11, you have to move on, but you can't forget and you brought that message through quite strongly. Way to go with it!

Author's Response: thank you soooo much! i really tried to make it like that, so glad you liked it! thanks for r&r'ing!! :]

-nora.


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