I loved the pun in the story summary, it was simply brilliant. I actually have another egg joke and if you speak/know basic French you should get it! Why didn’t the boy have two eggs for breakfast? Because when was an oeuf. Yeah I know that was terrible, but you may be a lover a terrible of terrible jokes!

If Archie really didn’t want to not refer to her as the Charming Charms teacher he should stick with Devil Incarnate, it does convey the point in a better way than just adding not-so to the name, but each to their own. I have to give Fred some credit in this chapter, I honestly thought he was going to tease Hugo mercilessly for his poster making but he managed to restrain himself, more so than Archie.

As much as introducing cross-curricular things into Muggle Studies sounds great, Archie really should give up on that idea. This is the second time he’s mixed things with fire and it really isn’t turning out well, and it’s even worse considering someone’s hairs on fire! And blue pancakes? How on earth did Lysander end up with them? Perhaps Dom or Fred spiked them with food colouring for fun.

‘in his normal snooty I-know-more-about-muggles-than-the-Muggle-Studies-teacher-voice’ this line cracked me up so much! I’ve always held a great dislike for people who think they’re better than others, and in this case it was Elliot. I can fully understand Archie’s mental rant for him.

Yay more puns! I am definitely going to write these down and say when appropriate next Shrove Tuesday. Though that’s almost a year away so I may forget… That’s a pretty good tongue twister too, (ooh and I sort of made one there :P) I haven’t just sat here and said it for two minutes or anything….

And I’m half way through! You could go on writing this forever you know. Like Archie visits China or Archie takes on a gecko, or make him go on a muggle reality TV programme. I would love to see what would happen if he met The Only Way Is Essex cast :P Another fantastic chapter, Helen :D

-Kiana

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Haha I loved the plan about Archie giving up magic for a month, if I was a witch I don’t think I would be able to do that. Poor old Neville too, I do feel bad for him as he’s such a forlorn character who always ends up in mishaps.

Ooh I just remembered something; I don’t think you ever mentioned which house Archie was in. I’m going to go with Slytherin as he has not so nice thoughts about the students at times or Ravenclaw because he seems quite smart.

This part really cracked me up ‘“No, but well... that’s your last warning. I hope you learn from it.”

“Sure,” Kevin said, dropping his potato peeler onto the desk and folding his arms, “like a Ravenclaw on a Sunday.” Considering I’m a Claw and my revision tends to peak by Thursday, I would say that was fairly true :P

Poor Archie that class really didn’t seem to go well at all. Though it’s more amusing on my behalf, if they were sitting there getting on with their work it would be nowhere near as fun to read :P

So they get to experience a food tech lesson then? Mine were nowhere near as eventful as there’s was, but then again, I actually knew how to use the muggle cooking things which probably made a big difference. I was feeling all proud of Archie finally cracking down on the discipline front, then for him to realise that he didn’t have wand with him was sad.

Aw poor Archie needing comfort food, at least he won award and that should cheer him up :’) Another great chapter :D

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I seriously love this story, its hilarious and witty and cheers me up greatly!

Author's Response: Thanks Jack! Really glad I was able to amuse you :D

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“It’s the milkshake, Professor,” Fred said from the vicinity of the drinks table, “your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.”

“Damn right, it’s better than yours,”

Oh this made me laugh so much. As did,
“A novelty ruler,” Dom corrected, “it’s scented.”

In fact, pretty much the entire chapter had me giggling. Seriously keep up the amazing writing - I adore your characters and this wonderful story :)

Author's Response: Aha, I couldn't resist that one. And there are such a thing as scented rulers and it's WEIRD. I can understand scented pens but... rulers. It seems... slightly odd to me.

Glad you liked the chapter :D

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Aw sad times when I miss out on the 150th review, oh well, I'll aim for the next landmark review!

It's fine Archie the amount of teachers who have shown me films around Christmas is unblievable, so you probably wouldn't get fired!

I'm almost surprised that Dom and Fred didn't include Mean Girls in their favourites, but I can imagine why they would like Grease, those dance moves are classic!

Haha I loved how you could tell what a type of person they would be due to their nail varnish and the fact that Hogwarts had an emo sub-culture. I never thought about them having the same sort of cliques but it makes sense. I’ve painted my nails both black and pink, so I guess I’m a Barbie and an emo!

The muggle tour actually sounds really fun, and if I was a wizard I would love to go one! I can’t wait to see the reaction of Archie’s girlfriend though, I can imagine she wouldn’t be nearly as delighted I would be if I found out I was going on one!

Another awesomesauce chapter, and I can't wait to read on :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Films are pretty much a muggle christmas standard, so I though Archie might be able to get away with it (and if he was going to be fired, I can imagine there'd be a whole host of other reasons to fire him which would be slightly better reasons).

MEAN GIRLS! I'm going to HAVE to make a mean girls reference at some point. I hadn't even thought about that. THANKS for the suggestion.

Ahha, nail-varnish-defines-your-personality. Did no one ever tell you, you Barbie-emo? ;)

THANK YOU for such a lovely review and glad you liked the chapter :D

-Helen

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Oh my God, as usual, this was hilarious and I was laughing the entire way through. I can't imagine Archie as anyone but Robert Downey Jr. I just can't, he fits so well into the character now.

I love this fanfiction, I really do, it'll be one of the ones that I'll always come back to read.

Author's Response: I was so pleased when I realised Archie WAS RDJ because I'm usually rubbish at finding face fits, but it's perfect.

So glad you like the story! You're awesome :D

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Very cute story, I enjoyed it. I do want to point out that it's "extra-curricular", not "extra-circular". But really enjoyable story, I like your OC!

Author's Response: Ah, thank you! I'll go fix that up now and I'm really glad you liked it :D

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I never thought I would see George Samson in a chapter image, but there's always a first for everything!

Aw poor Archie having to look after the equivilant of wizarding chavs, I get why George Samson is there now! I almost want the Bonfire thing to go ahead, so we can see what they may do to it!

Yay we get to meet Dom and Fred! I loved the pair of them and you gave them such refreshing characteristic you couldn't help but fall in love with them! I'm with Archie on the parent curelty front, ignorance really is bliss in some cases.

Oh god the intelligence level of those people was so low it made me laugh! I really feel for Archie, I mean, how could you not know what the pointy end of the pencil does?

I think you may have meant Lorcan here 'Locran' :D

So the bonfire night went off without a hitch then? That's rather surprising, as I was almost expecting something Fred and George esque to happen! I suppose Vicky setting the ground on fire was more than enough though, and thank god it didn't do anything more damaging!

Another great chapter, and I can't wait to read more :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: I had to have a bonfire, because there's no possible way in which something wouldn't go wrong when you have Archie + students + fire so you know... couldn't resist ;)

I love writing about Dom and Fred so expect them to be starring characters for most of this humble little story. Along with Archie, of course.

I'll go change that thing now. Thanks for pointing it out.

SO GLAD YOU LIKED THE CHAPTER :)

Helen

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Ok it may have taken me ages to come back to this story, but that doesn't mean I didn't want to! Gah, I'm so excited to be here. I should probably get on with reading and reviewing rather than saying jibber jabber (Did I really say jibber jabber? Kill me now :/)

Ah what does this story do to me? I'm already crying with laughter after the first paragraph. It sounds rather like my RE class, and I suppose most people take as they think it's a doddle then end up failing, dropping out, and in situations like the ones you described!

I loved Archibald's observations of his pupils. I think I would have had the same reaction to Ronald's name too. I wonder if they learnt about McDonalds in Muggle Studies or not?

Wub this line was perfect - '“Are you calling us thick?” Squeaky demanded. Oh, hell.' To be fair, I could quote the entire chapter in this review as it was all so awesomesauce but that would go over the review limit :'(

Ok I don't think I can recover from this '“Sir,” Shelly said helplessly, so quietly he could barely hear, “I’ve got a crush on her.”

Well that was new.' All he said was 'that was new', I would just be like what? Are you serious? You like your teacher? Then run away and tell someone the gossip. I guess that just shows how cool Archibald is, if that's his reaction.

I may have sounded like I was little mentally unstable in this review, but I assure you I'm not, I'm just high on caffeine :P

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hey Kiana!

Thanks to coming back to Muggle Studies! This is one of my babies (actually, saying that, they're all my babies - I'm so attached to all of them) and I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter aha :)

AHHA. His non reaction! That was one of my favourite parts of the story to write, because... well I guess he's so used to all the crazy that it's just like 'oh that's new, what's next?' but yes definitely real fun to write.

THANKS for such a lovely review! You're awesome :D

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I wanna take Muggle Studies now, this sounds like an awesome class (it sounds a lot like my math class actually). Everyone is just so laid back and easy going. You know, I suspect that Archie is fond of some of his students (shocking, I know) but he just won't admit it.

Dom seems to have a particular knack for Muggle Studies from what I can tell and next to Archie, she and Shelly are y favourite characters.

Author's Response: Pah, if I was a muggle born I'd DEFO be one of the students who took Muggle Studies for kicks. I reckon it'd be hilarious and... why not get a qualification in it?

I love Dom. THanks for reviewing! :D

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I love Archie and even though his name isn't the best one out there, I find that he really makes it work. Archibald is just one of those characters that can pull off anything.

I love his thought process, it really is hilarious and I'll probably be annoying everyone I know telling them to read this evahse it's hilarious.

Author's Response: Oh man, I really love Archie so I'm glad I'm not the only one. So glad you liked it, AlexFan, and thanks for reviewing :D :D :D

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loved it. you could develop the instructor more. gave me flashbacks of being a first year teacher about a hundred years ago.

Author's Response: I actually really love the idea of putting a couple of flashbacks into some of these chapters. Thanks for the suggestion! :)

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Kiana calling from Team Blue! This story keeps on cropping up, so I thought I would check this out :D

I loved Archibald's cynical attitude, it just seems so fitting for a muggle studies teacher. I never really thought about the people who took it or who taught it, but he just provided such a humorous view of it, it almost made me want to take the class myself to see what the eclectic mixture of people would be like.

I can imagine Hugo being a muggle nut, and it seemed fitting that the others would be less responsive. Lockhart had a child? I hope we get to find out what happened to Lockhart senior. And Goyle's child is taking Muggle Studies? It's so weird but fitting at the same time.

I liked the bit about Johnny English, and how the use of Goliath was similar to the fruit related names celebrities decide to torture their children with.

So we do get to find out about Gilderoy. It is a bit of a fall from grace writing books about muggles after supposedly battling werewolves and banshees! I liked that Goliath was a muggle enthusiast it made me laugh, and I can imagine him being friends with Hugo. I did feel a little sorry that he got tied up.

Fred and Dom did interpretive dance? I have to see this happen. I can imagine them being great friends as well.

This was a great first chapter, and I will definitely be coming back :D

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: Hey there Kiana!

Archibald's cynical attitude is really fun to write about (I think cynicism is my writing calling) and I'm really glad that you likkeeed him as he's one of my favourite characters. Plus, I'd be jaded and cynical if I had to sit through the number of lessons about fountain pens as he had.

Yes, you get the big about Lockhart. Baaah.

MORE ON FRED AND DOM AND INTERPRETIVE DANCING SOON.

I'm really glad that you like my little chapter, here, and thank you for stopping by and leaving me a lovely review.

Hoping to see you soon :)

-AC

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Cute I really like the puns They remind me of Piers Anthony and his Xanth books He is a master at puns if you have not read his books check them out

Author's Response: I have not! But you're making me want to. I'll bare that in mind :)

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I loved it!
It actually seems like good (ish...) out come for Archie for once! Well... partly...
I also can't wait to meet Archie's and the Charming Charms Teacher's children, do you think they'll be appearing in a chapter? XD
Another amazing chapter that had me laughing out loud all the way through.
I really can't wait to see what he gets up to next and what's going to happen next with Dionne.

Author's Response: It is! Things keep going well with Archie! I must rectify this in the next chapter. Yup. can't have too much accidental good.

I solemnly swear the last two chapters will be full of Archie having a MARE of a time. Can't wait :D

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u should b a famous writer

Author's Response: THANKS VERY MUCH :)

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Another (mostly) positive outcome for Archie - is his luck finally turning. He even got a public kiss (on the cheek) from his purported secret wife Professor Scrivenshaft. The Hunger games references made me laugh out loud as did the James Bond bit. So funny... Thanks for the new chapter.

Author's Response: The James bond bit was my favourite. Here's me cracking up over my computer screen feeling really pleased with myself... oh well. Thanks for the lovely review! :D

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Hahaha as hilarious as always! Loved this so much! Archie is so my favorite :3

Author's Response: Thanks! I love Archie, b'awwhhh. He's a cutie :D

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Hello! Here from Team Blue for the Review Battle!

I love how you took an event as simple as a student asking to transfer classes and pumped it full of life. What could have been sort of a boring conversation was funny and easy to follow, and I liked seeing Archibald's head spin as he tried to keep his students from getting at each other's throats.

Speaking of Archibald, the characterization is great. I like how working with so few students allows him to get each of them down to a science. It was interesting to get his take on the lackluster pupils in his class--and thank goodness someone brought up the McDonald's connection, because it was sitting in the front of my mind the whole time.

I noticed a few minor typos and punctuation errors, but nothing too big. Overall, it flowed quite nicely.

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi Amanda!

Archibald is one of my favourite character-characterisations of all time, just because he's so world weary and lovely... and it makes my day everytime I hear someone else likes my Archie too.

This was a really fun chapter to write so I'm really glad you liked it! And I'll be sure to actually go back over this chapter and edit it soon :)

-AC

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I love that Archie is doing anything he can to avoid the head teachers office :D
Seriously Helen these names are hilarious! I love that the wizards are naming their children this without realising :D
The students are pretty crazy, I blame it on having to deal with their names.
Go Archie telling James off! *snaps fingers sassily*
Will a lesson or activity ever go smoothly?

Author's Response: I genuinely just have a book of stupid name for Muggle Studies. And then I sit there scrolling through the lexicon going 'do any of these magical surnames have potential?' and then that's my lifffe.

i doubt smooth is on the agenda :')

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I love the character names so much! How do you come up with them all to have those specific names?
Have you ever seen Greg Davies live stand up? Archie makes me think of him so much, when Greg talks about when he used to teach.
I love seeing a story from a teachers point of view :D
Can't wait to reread more of your awesome story!

Author's Response: I have not seen such a thing! I think I may have to actually look him up though, because I reaally love Archie so it's always nice to think that he ha a real life inclination somewhere.

Thank you, Tammi! :D

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I really thought that I had reviewed this story a lot more then I actually have so I'm leaving my reviews now and rereading your awesome story :D
That was a very entertaining first lesson. No other lesson would have been that fun!
I love that Goliath has been tied to a chair, Archie really can't leave the students alone for a few minutes can he?
I love Fred and Dom's chapter so I can't wait to reread them again :D

Author's Response: Thank you! Reviews are always appreciated, of course. I don't know why he EVER thought leaving them was a remotely good idea, but I don't suppose he had a great deal of choice in the matter. Stil.

Thanks for the lovely review!

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Poor Archie - hiding from his own students. It seems likely that more teachers might actually like to do this but can't. I am amazed that not only are there more than one brand of dung bombs but that Archie can differentiate between them - such talent! I am amused that Archie considered his Boons and Mills collection to be "fine literature". If I haven't mentioned it before I love the use of actual authors names as some of the students names- the irony is so much fun! I think perhaps Archie should collaborate (or just allow her to come up with the plan) with Professor Scrivenshaft more often. Great chapter!

Author's Response: See, Zonkos made dung bombs. And I couldn't imagine WWW not doing dung bombs... so I decided there must be multiple brands. And of course Archie would know. ahhha. Oh, I work in a bookshop and the Mills and Boons section is always a source of amusement and jokes for us. Could. not. resist.

Thank you for the lovely review! :)

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Hello Helen :) I always feel bad for not reviewing, so yeah... here I am. Muggle Studies always puts a smile on my face, and makes me laugh quietly to myself like a nutter... One of my favourite bits was this: '"What would happen if you put your hand in a toaster?" // "I don’t know, Lockhart, why don’t you just try it?" Archibald snapped' It sounds like something either my parents or our head of DT would say :P I think it's even funnier just how clueless they are as to muggle things, like you have to wonder where their common sense kicks in :P Archie is just so funny in that sarcastic way of his, I just csn't help but love him, and secretly wish he was my teacher :P And the end line of 'Sometimes, even cross-dressing-squib-teachers needed to comfort eat.' was perfect! Keep writing this :)

Author's Response: Hi Julia!

Don't worry about not reviewing! I always used to be terrible about it myself and I'm just honoured that you're here now. I think that has to be one of my favourite lines (although I am a little intrigued) and ack... I love their utter cluelessness! It makes for such ffun :D

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Dionne had a incident with a space hopper? Her and Archibald are made for each other!
Also Robin Hood as a wizard? I love it!
Boot and Corner are so mean to Archibald aren't they? I love that the professors are basically acting like the students, it's so funny :D No wonder he was hiding until midday from them.
Although it's funny that Fred managed to get them with Dungbombs.
I love that they all want to save Archibald's job, they must really like him :D Fred's 'charging' was my favourite part :D
Oh my they're protesting! I'm laughing so much at imagining them protesting haha.
How do you keep coming up with all of this brilliantness? It's amazing!

Author's Response: OF COURSE SHE DID.

I couldn't resist her having one... I just couldn't.

I really love the whole colleaguey relationships in this, mostly because I secretly want Minerva and Severus to have been playing tricks on each other way back when. Aha.

They love him. Who can blame them? Oh man, the protest was one of my favourite ideas thus far (but then again, they all are).

Thank you for your lovely reviews! :D

AC

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