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The whole disertation on dissociative personality disorder reminded me a lot of M. Scott Peck's book "people of the lie." Curious if that was your scource. Regardless, Brilliant piece of writing/plot here by including it.
Also, the payoff was just so dispciable. Again, great writing.
Now, on to the important stuff.
FINALLY!! Overjoyed Harry finally made his move and Hermione reciprocated. Excellent. I must say you've had an excellent build up to this (but it was definitely time!).
The whole scene with dinner at the Burrow was excellent. Now, keep in mind I'm totally a pro-canon post-hogwarts type, but this story is just so darn well done. Loved this scene, in fact, I would've liked to have heard more from Ginny, Ron and Neville about the back story.
As usual, your transitions between past and present were excellent. Such a creative way to deliver the tale here. Quite good. Really enjoying it. i do hope the remaining chapters will be just as quickly posted as this last one.
Oh. You didn't answer my question from the last review. Was the movie harry and hermione were watching in the last chapter "When harry met sally?"Author's Response: haha, thank you so much, i really appreciate it!!!
not my source, actually... didn't even know about that book, honestly... may just look into it now. i just did a lot of research from a wide array of sources.
I'm so happy that you liked the payoff, as terrible s that may have just sounded!
yeppers, harry made a move on ehr and i'm actually even working on my first smut scene EVER for the other sites where i post this story that have ToS that are more lax and would allow it (along with certain scenes i've had to omit as well)
the Burrow scenes... year of meddling Molly tension that burst, and was bound to, haha
wow... you actually liked the memories here, really? thank you, i thought that they may be terrible in this context and ruin the whole chapter...
as for the film... wasn't really just considering one.. but if i had to then it'd be you've got mail... >.< idk why but i love that film even if tom hanks so isnt leading man material... Report Review
I could of sworn that when I first read this ages ago there was a part where Hermione says all the different names for a 'phallus'Author's Response: there was, but according to HPFF terms of service I cannot use such terms. it is available in other copies, but here I had to change certain aspects of the case so that they would meet ToS :)
good memory though! Report Review
I will try my best not to berrate you for the long wait. ;)
This chapter was quite good; the cuts between past and present were smooth (as always), but it feels as if you're straining against the logical conclusion of their getting together.
That said, the interplay between them, the progression of Harry's counselling, all of it was exquisitely done. Especially like the f-me, not-yet exchange. Really well done that.
Wild guess: is the movie they were watching "When Harry met Sally" ?
I was a bit confused with the last portion, I'm not really clear as to what it was that Hermione had "wanted to do for a really long time."
And this was just perfect: "You’re my best friend, Hermione. Theres no one in the world who I love more than you, theres no one I trust more than you. Don’t be rude and discount my feelings for you. Don’t be annoying and get prissy over the slightest detail. I love you, Hermione, plain and simple."
I hope there's more soon!Author's Response: so glad to be able to tell you that i've completed the next chapter and am awaiting my beta's reply now so it won't be too long... and i might even be pumped enough to quickly churn out the next one as I'm onto the FINAL three now!!! :-O
thank you so much for this review, i really appreciate it
p.s. i've made some changes and have put up the chapter for reposting here
p.p.s. she meant she's wanted to kiss him Report Review
Again, I love the auror parts -- like when they were interviewing the Doc. It's just so CSI, you knw?lol. It's exciting, and well written. I love the suspicion and links and leads, it's just enthralling.
I did wonder about Callum! I'm glad you put in the flashback for him, as I wanted to see what he was like. Harry's description of him was interesting, though I'm not sure it's a good one!haha. Callum could be described as some pretty nasty things, and I'm not sure Hermione would like this OC. However, I do love Callum -- he's just funny in a odd way -- and I'm glad you gave us some history to he and Harry's relationship.
Three cheers for another therapist meeting!haha. We all love to hate them, eh?
Plus, as I've kind of hinted, I'm so disappointed you made Harry a liverpool fan!! Though I thought in a previous chapter he was Arsenal??? Quick check back needed for me..
But, yeah, I thought Harry was Arsenal and Hermione was Liverpool? Geeze, when are we going to get some Man. Utd fans?! ;) haha. Perhaps Ron?
Hermione's love of food is.. different. She scolded Ron for his scoffing in the past, but I suppose hers is very different from his in the way that she actually eats it, lol. But, yes, I've never seen it in a fic before; Hermione and a love for food. It's a nice little 'sub-theme' throughout the fic; Harry bringing Hermione food, Hermione indulging in different foods.
Anyhoo, just thought I'd add that in :)
Harry and Hermione are really too cute -- oh, how I do wish they were canon :'(. I loved Hermione's comment about Harry not smiling enough.
As you've mentioned in your author response, it is unlike Harry to be so 'weak' as to let himself fall into the alocolism and depression. Although, we do have evidence after Sirius' death that death impacts Harry in a big way, so we can only assume what his reaction to the final battle was. War leaves deep scares, and I definitely think it's possible he turned out like this. But what gives it the realistic factor, really, is how he worked hard to quit for Hermione.
It just, somehow, sounded like Harry. Even though we've never come across an alocholic, canon, Harry. ;) haha.
Alright, well, I've talked long enough. I did like this chapter -- although I was slightly disappointed with the lack of action. And lack of Luna -- I honestly thought she was going to be in the chapter after that title!!! Tsk, tsk, you fooled me so. lol.
Right, well, good chapter and I hope you update soon! I want to see what happens to those sick bastards that raped poor Andrea.
By the way, sympathy is oozing for her now. (Is it just me, or does 'oozing' sound kind of sickish??? Like.. ugh.)
Right, I'm off!
P.S. -- Got a kinda H/Hr one-shot if you'd check it out for me?? It's okay if you can't! :)Author's Response: FIRST OF ALL, i am so sorry for the ridiculously late relpy... i've been avoiding all things FF for a while as i'm feeling terribly under-inspired for some reason and am trying to work through it... though i think this might aid me towards that goal mroe than you could possibly imagine!!!
NOW, onto the actual reply:
1. i think you are the only person who likes my weak renditions of interrogations/interviews, but thank you so much. this is really out of my comfort zone, i love it, but it's hard for me, too, because i sometimes feel really corny writing it, too.
2. haha, i love liverpool and chelsea, honestly. couldn't help myself... man untd... just not happening, i'm a red! what can i say? (though i have to admit that a great deal of my adulation for the team derives from the history of it. so much so that i can even overlook my abhorrence of Benitez... though i do Report Review
Don't worry about the writer's block. It was good. Nice weave of Harry's past with the present, as usual. You've got me wanting more. Is it time yet for H and Hr to move on to the next level?Author's Response: soon, definitely, would have been sooner had the case not made certain jumps forward... Report Review
Excellent so far, I have always liked the mystery genre anyway, and you have me hooked, hopefully you can continue to push through the writers block, I can't wait to see what happens!Author's Response: oh thank you so much, this will deff help me find the energy to try to push through, honestly! Report Review
Great story! Update soon!Author's Response: THANK YOU! Report Review
This story is really enthralling, and there is a lot of thought put into the plot, you can tell. The flashbacks, Harry's past and feelings, it's all very relevant and written well.
I'm astounded by the fact that sometimes you only get 4 reviews a chapter -- you're a brilliant writer, and so I'm confused as to why you don't get more reviews. I assume it's because of the lack of H/Hr supporters on HPFF, but anyway.
I adore the mystery to this fic; the deaths, connections, the elitist families. It's brilliant! Your tying in of politics is good as well, and I love your OCs Buckley and... I forget his name, but the 'outlaw' who got the five names.
Hermione and Harry's relationship is great, and it's written excellently. The birthday scene was heart-breaking, and it was bittersweet seeing Hermione sticking with Harry through it all.
I also like your OC Andersen, and his direct words to Harry -- even if he is a therapist.
Again, the case is very interesting. You write it realistically, like it would on the TV or something!haha. The story is realistic, and how they unveil new aspects of the story.
I'm loving the mystery, honestly.
Anyway, I'll end this review here. I don't think there's anything I don't like... it's very good.
ANYHOO, great fic and please update soon!!
OH! And you're a liverpool fan? Ah, cosmopolitan, I am so disappointed!lol. You've got a Man Utd. supporter as fan of your story. xD
Update as soon as you can!Author's Response: well, first off i guess i should start just by saying wow... this review... well it meant a lot to me, to put it lightly. truly, this... this meant so much, thank you. now, since i'm so touched and probably can't keep my thoughts organized i'll have to try... numerically...
1. i'm happy you enjoyed harry's past. i knopw that it tends to be controversial since so many can't see harry ever being weak like that, but i always just figured that war should change you... killing... dealing with the aftermath of what everything your life, to that date, had been built towards... well that should leave you a bit at a loss, right?
2. WOW! you like the murder mystery, really? here i thought it was total... poop, honestly. i mean, i liked the premise but i tend to worry that it sounds so much better in my head than when actually put to action...
3. i hate therapists, too, lol... which is why i'm kind of shocked that i even brought one in, actually...
4. can't help it, i LOVE the history and also tend to support teams based on players and w/ or w/o liverpool i love torres, stevie g. and skrtel... may have to start watching real matches for alonso though...
the update is in validation at the moment and thank you, again, for this ego bolstering review!
xx Report Review
Another amazing chapter, even if it was a filler, please keap it up!Author's Response: thank you, and will do! Report Review
I LOVE this story. I hope for an update soon, I will hunt you down and stand behind you with a whip while you write, if I need to. I also love the pictures of the yummy Jensen Ackles *fights urge to lick computer screen, because I'm strange*
Keep up the good work!Author's Response: lol, he is rather dishy, isnt he? ;)
i am so happy to read that you're enjoying it and i promise to have a new chap out asap! Report Review
Heyyy =] Well I was cuious so I checked out Portkey and there this story was! I wanted to read the deleted scene and I can't believe that was a violation! There was nothing wrong with it! *sigh* Ah well, silly hpff! That was my favourite scene out of this I think, really made me laugh! Such a Ron thing to say as well!! And o another murder?? How interesting! Wonder who it is!
Also, yes I'm DEVASTATED at the loss of Alonso =[ He was one of my favourite players on the team and I'm gutted we're letting him go! Urgh. He was excellent too =[ I was watching the England match the other day and they played Glenn Johnson, the guy we have just signed and I have to say I'm not impressed, hopeflly he will play better with Liverpool. Ah well, there is my rant! BRING BACK XABI!Author's Response: there are quite a few scenes and factors in regards to this case all together that i cannot include, in fact there's a whole other facet to this murder that readers here cant read as HPFF ToS forbids it, but you get the general idea and that's what counts, right? if you ever are interested though, it's available there as well as a few other sites where i post for when you're curious :D--any chapter that was changed for the sake of ToS makes mention of it in the note before reading.
lol, yeah, i was rather fond of that line, too, thought it'd be funny... esp sicne i was looking at a picture of the david before writing this scene...
lol, yeah... xabi wanted to leave after the whole barry incedent last yr and i cant blame him for it b/c rafa was a total douche towards him following the champions league which he missed for the birth of his son. just wasnt fair and i hate how tragically it effects the team NOW... *sigh* looks like i'll start watching real matches now... Report Review
OMPC!!! That was AMAZING!!! It was sooo well written, but then again it doesn't surprise me. All your other stories are well written as well. LOL! Anyways I just wanted to tell you that the chappie was GREAT!! and pls pls pls pls pls update soon. Oh and by the way your story Casually defiend or something like that was Amazing as well, hope you write a sequal or something. Keep up the Great work!!!Author's Response: oh, thank you thank you thank you! it really means the world to me to read this, ugh a gazzilion thank yous your way, lol! Report Review
I don't know how I feel about it all. I'm excited, but then again I feel very cautious. Your story really does hang on these last few chapters. You've still got something to prove for me in the HHr relationship and in the case. I feel like you've got something up your sleeve though. So I'll be waiting for the next post to see what's gonna happen.
~MegAuthor's Response: well like my reply with greed, i move into relationships slowly and this is something that then also happens in my stories as their relationship philosophies emanate mine, albeit inadvertently. Report Review
Crucial fillers... quote of the month. Haha. I can't stop teasing you about this. Sorry. It's a bad habit. But for reals now. It's getting better. I'm excited for the next chapter. Hermione's little blush and her whole maybe was exciting.
~MegAuthor's Response: lol, no, really, it's fine. all i really care about is the fact that you think it's getting better, yay! :D Report Review
That talk angered me... but I feel like that was your purpose. I feel like I would've written this completely different. But maybe that's a good thing. It could also be a bad thing. We'll find out.
~MegAuthor's Response: it wasn't the right time, hermione just left her relationship and she still doesn't really now the depth of harry's feelings, entirely. i agree that you would have done it differently, most people would as we'd all have various ideas for the various manners this could have gone, but this was the only way i would have... even if it's not the best to all it's the best of the possibilities i entertained. Report Review
YAY! An update! I absolutely adored this chapter. I love the dynamics of the trio in your story so much, and am completely satisfied with your Ron now. :D And Harry's alcoholism helps make the closeness between Ron and Hermione much more believable, kind of even more so than in the books. Don't get me wrong, I love Ron and Hermione together, but in the books I always felt like I was missing something... How the hell did they fall in love? But even though this is a Harry/Hermione story, you make the Ron/Hermione dynamic really realistic too. Did any of that make sense? I'm a little ramble-y tonight. Anywho... I love how Hermione has the two of them whipped... it's so like her. I just have nothing bad to say about this chapter. No constructive criticism for you, this time around. You've reached perfection with this one. :D And I just thought you should know, you have me converted from a very firm Ron/Hermione shipper to absolutely loving this ship. (Plus... your Harry is just... incredibly hot... Ha.) Can't wait for the next chapter!Author's Response: oooh, m so happy you like this version of ron. i know that many think he's rather ooc, but i hope that i at least explained how he reached that change :- b/c i did think it was a crucial and understandable on for him to make. as for RHr love, well that baffled me too. i mean i see some twisted sadistic/masochistic chemistry maybe, but not love... idk...
o, really? wow, an RHr shipper liking HHr in my fic, omfg, you have no idea how honored i feel right now, thank you. thank you so much for this!
Yeah that kiss happened too quickly... if that's at all possible. It's the 14th chapter! But yeah after all this build, it just wasn't the right build for them to just kiss like that and for her to just turn around and say that was a mistake. That's not how I would've pictured this going at all.
Also you've got a few minor spelling errors. You'll need to go back and take a look. I also think you spaced this one weird. Next time use the simple editor thing when you're inputting the text.
~MegAuthor's Response: yep, it most definitely did, and that's why nothing will follow it because hermione sees that it's not the right time, too.
as for the spelling errors, sorry, the simple editor here and on word didn't catch it all. Report Review
Chapter 13 and no kiss. Your author's note at the end summarizes it all. Chapter 13 and nothing has really developed between Hermione and Harry. And this case has not struck home yet. It needs to become interesting much faster. It's mildly interesting. It's not kabang interesting ya know?
On another note, I enjoyed the Harry/Hermione moment in the very beginning. Her swearing and that whole thing. It was cute.
~MegAuthor's Response: i waited for the moment where it fits, i didnt want to regret where it came in and it just wasnt right yet, sadly. Report Review
Working your way up but it hasn't been "broughten". You need to bring it.
~MegAuthor's Response: lol, i'll try. Report Review
That wasn't good enough for the therapy session. You're getting there but it wasn't good enough. I realize what you're doing though and it all makes sense. I realize you got to build for the double date and all that.
Anyway I thought I should let you know that the one chapter Living and Dieing... well Dying is actually spelled like that. Also you always write clich in here and I think you mean cliche. The ending e is supposed to have an accent mark on it if you write it correctly but most people just write cliche. You've had a few bit of minor grammar and spelling mistakes throughout the last few chapters. I've just forgotten to tell you. Anyway you may want to reread but go backwards if that makes sense. It helps you catch spelling errors better.
Otherwise I'm off to the next chap.
~MegAuthor's Response: lol, it gets there, but slowly, yeah. i mean, part of this is also the fact that i have a lot of chapters to go through so i had the ability to show all of this as these flashbacks do go on until the end...
i wrote cliche (with the accent) in my original version actually (and all other versions have it) so it must be that the site wouldn't let the letter/symbol show up. Report Review
You're getting closer and closer to it but with each chapter I'm beginning to feel like it's filler. It's taking a long time to get everything set up. This is all just a small small build. Your climax better be one hell of a shocker because all this is building to something that I feel like might not even be worth it.
Sorry that was brutally honest. But it is chapter ten now.
So yeah this is all just happening so slowly. Harry's realization and his diagnosis from his therapy session should be here by now. I feel like he is going to be admitting what we all know which is that he is in love with Hermione. And it just needs to happen. It needs to be paired with him admitting it in present time to her. Things just need to escalate. And they aren't. I feel like I have an idea of how things are going to go, but you are not hitting at them yet. It's like I can see the escalation but the chapter isn't making it happen.
It's like getting one bit of information when with the last few chapters you could have just combined them all so that we could have had at least a few bits.
Once all this stuff starts happening I feel like it's just going to come out all so fast. I don't know. We'll see. I'm off to read on. It's still good though. I'm definitely still interested. I just feel like things are happening too slowly with chapter ten being done with and all.
~MegAuthor's Response: thing is, he KNOWS what his diagnosis is, what's hard for him is to vocalize it, put himself in a sub position as he gives someone else all of the power in their relationship by showing that facet of himself.
as for everything and how it comes out, well it definitely won't be all at once, there are lots of twists and turns as the story goes on, first with harry and then with ron and hermione.
as for the combination of chapters... well i didnt want to rush the build of harry and andersen's relationship as andersen becomes a pivotal role and quite the confidant, he needs to work his way towards that. Report Review
Things are starting to pick up. Harry needs to have his damn realization in this therapy session. That's just getting annoying. I can't wait for more. I'm more concerned with the past then I am the present. This case is interesting but it's not what keeps me reading. It's these flashbacks. Something is going to have to change in the present time to get that to switch. I'm actually quite excited for that transition, but I feel like it's not gonna be for like another 4 chapters at least.
~MegAuthor's Response: lol, i have to admit that as i was writing this the flashback portions were what i had the most fun writing as the idea for all of this did derive from that and the case was a god way of forcing them together to see each other and face everything that's always been left unsaid. Report Review
Runway show? God I'm going to hate this girl. But ok I'll read on. You are pushing it. 8 chaps down, lots of tension, more gore, but nothing really told yet. It's still just a build. How long are you planning on making this?
~MegAuthor's Response: yep, she's a model. lol. as for the length of the story, it's actually going to be 27-28 chapters, so nt the longest i've ever seen, lol. :D Report Review
Still good... I'm still waiting for the real meat from the past to come back and haunt us. P.s. this christina chick is annoying. I also would really like another Ron and Hermione moment. So I'm hoping that Christina gets axed and my Ron and Hermione moment come. I'm off to read on.
~MegAuthor's Response: there's A LOT of build in this story since there's just so much history to cover, so yeah, the climactic moment will come rather later on. Report Review
You wrote this in a half an hour? That always shocks me when authors say that. I write for hours and hours and I get one chapter up. Every detail has to perfect. And my chapters are a bit longer than yours. But still this is a great chap for having done it in just "a half an hour".
This whole Hermione and Harry thing is kinda killing me though. I see that you have twenty chapters. I take it this is going to be an incredibly slow progression. We're going to learn one little bit at a time.
~MegAuthor's Response: yeah, i knew what i wanted to write beforehand as since i'd written the last chapter i knew which memories i had to go on to so i was really excited about it... which translated into a rather quickly put out chapter.
as for the HHr, yeah, you can definitely say it's a slow progression, there's A LOT to get through, but i will also say that at the end of those chapter the two are very much so together. Report Review
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