Ooh! Bitch slap on the face! Whoa, she's daring. I'd LOVE to live with Sirius Black. Actually, those girls he sleeps with every night, yeah that's me. :D

Author's Response: damn girl! Have a happy sex time!

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Aww. Poor Shay, sounds just like Sirius. Man, Sirius is the best. Babe.

Author's Response: who doesn't like Sirius? And if you do know some on let me know and I'll fix that for them.

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This is a fantastic story! I love it!
:)

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!

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i read ur story in 1 go...its brilliant...

Author's Response: thanks, I think you should read the next part too. But it's just a suggestion.

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OH. MY. GOD. I. LOVE. YOU.

Author's Response: Hey what a coincidence...I love you too!

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Poor Shay. She appears to have an extremely sucky homelife, and takes it out on herself. Good chapter, I enjoyed it.

Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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NO PLEASE DON'T BE OVER YET!

I SPENT ALL NIGHT LAST NIGHT READING YOUR AMAZING STORIES! I COULDN'T STOP!

Author's Response: it's not over, keep on reading!

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hi.

i love every single chapter but this one is just hilarious. especially this part:
"Mr. Black, I too, am a fan of the Chudley Cannons," Dumbledore said while walking by.

"See, I am not gay" Sirius mumbled.

"Whatever you say Sirius."

COZ DUMBLEDORE IS GAY!!

YOU'RE SO SMART!'

GREAT JOB!

Author's Response: Yea it's just a big coincidence because I wrote this before JK let it out of the bag

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Dickhead germs? HA! right.oh em gee. Ookay,I'm no saint but they really do cuss alot.a bad influence on all those cute little eleven year olds!

Author's Response: yes, many bad influences.

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Okay,THAT was hilarious.But I still don't like the nameShay.Anyway,I almost peed my pants,it was so funny.

Author's Response: And the name doesn't like you, but I'm glad you like my story!

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A bit short,but good. Sorry,but I don't really like the name shay.Don't think I'm a snob! pleeease!

Author's Response: It's not a name for everyone, and I'm ok with that.

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Oh God... you're one of those "emo" kids, aren't you? You wrote about cutting and other ridiculous "Hey mom I want attention but can't get it in a positive way, so I'm going to hurt myself with safety pins to try to get the love I so desperately thirst for" acts. Give me a break.

Author's Response: You're extremely rude. I hate people who label other people. It's bullshit. You don't know me. What is "emo" anyway? If every kid that hurt themselves is emo, then there is a hell of a lot of emo kids out there. If you don't like the story than don't read it. So give me a break. If you're not going to give me constructive critsism, then shut up.

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I love this story! AH! i don't know if you've written more, i haven't checked, but i bet you have. I just read all 36 chapters in one night, from 7 to Midnight and I LOVED IT! thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
keep writing!

Author's Response: great! now read the second installment!

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Well I guess self harm can be pretty distressing, I can kinda see why they wanted to censor it. Though maybe they should have made a compromise and made you put a very strong warning on the top of this chapter.
I guess maybe because things like self harm and eating disorders can be "contagious" for want of a better word... they thought it might not be appropriate? Since a lot of younger teenagers probably frequent this site, and its at that age that kids are most likely to start self harming behaviours.
Well written story anyway.

Author's Response: I know why they censored it. I was angry when I found out though because its my story and I didn't like having to alter it. But I respect how much work the staff does here and I actually like my alternate version better than the original.

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good start to what promises to be an interesting story

Author's Response: good. keep on reading

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*cires.* I can't beleive part one is over. I bet this took you sooo long to write, and it has paid off wholheartedly.

Some critism I hope helps; AKA constructive critism:
In one of your chapters, Benjy comes into the Gryffindor common room. I beleive he is a ravenclaw, so that is one slight mistake. Not too big though.
Your grammer was not the best, but I should not be talking. It was good enough, although you jumped tenses once in a while which was very annoying.

Other than that, it was quite brilliant. Your characterizatoins were very good, one of the best Peter ones I've read. I think Lily could have been a bit more easygoing, but she was good for this story.

Shay is a remarkable OC, and I cannot wait to see how she comes into everything.

Anyway, brilliant, brillinat, brilliant, and now I am going to read the next part!!!

Author's Response: thanks for taking the time to leave suck a wonderful review. I know what part you're talking about with Benjy. He didn't enter the common room, he walked Shay to the portrait. And I know my grammer sucks. I haven't quite perfected the art of tense yet. It's something I've got to work on. But I'm glad you liked the story.

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omg,that was AMAZING!

I'm like, overcome with how good it was.

I'm not crying or anything but I feel as though I've just finished reading a prequel to Harry Potter! [by the way,that was supposed to be a compliment]

Author's Response: that's awesome. I'm glad you liked it so much.

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Tears ahh this was a really good story..
Your writing has changed for the better so much! Its amazing!
Good job I cant wait to start the second instalment! -Jessie

Author's Response: thank you. I'm glad you thought I improved.

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Good job again i really have nothing else to say..
_jessie

Author's Response: that's awesome

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OKay i havent reviewed for a few chapters,,, I LOVE THIS STORY!!! Its amazing :-)!-jessie10/10

Author's Response: thanks, I'm glad you liked it!

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WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY!.-jessie

Author's Response: what...don't yell.

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And down hill it all goes...
-jessie :'(

Author's Response: yea it's like turning 50

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If i want the other version sould you possible email it to me if you have it... im interested in ur freedom of speech.. Springgirl2122803@gmail.com..
Thanks Good job though with all of these emotions..
-jessie

Author's Response: yea I'll send it to you if I can find it. It's hidden in my room somewhere...

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DANG is all i can say.. that made my heart skip abeat... and wow.. i cant believe the only family memeber that she had to talk to is dead.. and then niki and emmeline.. wow...
-jessie

Author's Response: yea I know...wow.

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ah that chapter made me laugh so hard! thats what she said brilliant
im really enjoying the story
fantastic stuff
thanks so much

Author's Response: thanks, I'm glad you liked it...that's what she said.

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