Ooh! Bitch slap on the face! Whoa, she's daring. I'd LOVE to live with Sirius Black. Actually, those girls he sleeps with every night, yeah that's me. :DAuthor's Response: damn girl! Have a happy sex time! Report Review
Aww. Poor Shay, sounds just like Sirius. Man, Sirius is the best. Babe.Author's Response: who doesn't like Sirius? And if you do know some on let me know and I'll fix that for them. Report Review
This is a fantastic story! I love it!
:)Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
i read ur story in 1 go...its brilliant...Author's Response: thanks, I think you should read the next part too. But it's just a suggestion. Report Review
OH. MY. GOD. I. LOVE. YOU.Author's Response: Hey what a coincidence...I love you too! Report Review
Poor Shay. She appears to have an extremely sucky homelife, and takes it out on herself. Good chapter, I enjoyed it.Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Report Review
NO PLEASE DON'T BE OVER YET!
I SPENT ALL NIGHT LAST NIGHT READING YOUR AMAZING STORIES! I COULDN'T STOP!Author's Response: it's not over, keep on reading! Report Review
i love every single chapter but this one is just hilarious. especially this part:
"Mr. Black, I too, am a fan of the Chudley Cannons," Dumbledore said while walking by.
"See, I am not gay" Sirius mumbled.
"Whatever you say Sirius."
COZ DUMBLEDORE IS GAY!!
YOU'RE SO SMART!'
GREAT JOB!Author's Response: Yea it's just a big coincidence because I wrote this before JK let it out of the bag Report Review
Dickhead germs? HA! right.oh em gee. Ookay,I'm no saint but they really do cuss alot.a bad influence on all those cute little eleven year olds!Author's Response: yes, many bad influences. Report Review
Okay,THAT was hilarious.But I still don't like the nameShay.Anyway,I almost peed my pants,it was so funny.Author's Response: And the name doesn't like you, but I'm glad you like my story! Report Review
A bit short,but good. Sorry,but I don't really like the name shay.Don't think I'm a snob! pleeease!Author's Response: It's not a name for everyone, and I'm ok with that. Report Review
Oh God... you're one of those "emo" kids, aren't you? You wrote about cutting and other ridiculous "Hey mom I want attention but can't get it in a positive way, so I'm going to hurt myself with safety pins to try to get the love I so desperately thirst for" acts. Give me a break.Author's Response: You're extremely rude. I hate people who label other people. It's bullshit. You don't know me. What is "emo" anyway? If every kid that hurt themselves is emo, then there is a hell of a lot of emo kids out there. If you don't like the story than don't read it. So give me a break. If you're not going to give me constructive critsism, then shut up. Report Review
I love this story! AH! i don't know if you've written more, i haven't checked, but i bet you have. I just read all 36 chapters in one night, from 7 to Midnight and I LOVED IT! thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
keep writing!Author's Response: great! now read the second installment! Report Review
Well I guess self harm can be pretty distressing, I can kinda see why they wanted to censor it. Though maybe they should have made a compromise and made you put a very strong warning on the top of this chapter.
I guess maybe because things like self harm and eating disorders can be "contagious" for want of a better word... they thought it might not be appropriate? Since a lot of younger teenagers probably frequent this site, and its at that age that kids are most likely to start self harming behaviours.
Well written story anyway.Author's Response: I know why they censored it. I was angry when I found out though because its my story and I didn't like having to alter it. But I respect how much work the staff does here and I actually like my alternate version better than the original. Report Review
good start to what promises to be an interesting storyAuthor's Response: good. keep on reading Report Review
*cires.* I can't beleive part one is over. I bet this took you sooo long to write, and it has paid off wholheartedly.
Some critism I hope helps; AKA constructive critism:
In one of your chapters, Benjy comes into the Gryffindor common room. I beleive he is a ravenclaw, so that is one slight mistake. Not too big though.
Your grammer was not the best, but I should not be talking. It was good enough, although you jumped tenses once in a while which was very annoying.
Other than that, it was quite brilliant. Your characterizatoins were very good, one of the best Peter ones I've read. I think Lily could have been a bit more easygoing, but she was good for this story.
Shay is a remarkable OC, and I cannot wait to see how she comes into everything.
Anyway, brilliant, brillinat, brilliant, and now I am going to read the next part!!!Author's Response: thanks for taking the time to leave suck a wonderful review. I know what part you're talking about with Benjy. He didn't enter the common room, he walked Shay to the portrait. And I know my grammer sucks. I haven't quite perfected the art of tense yet. It's something I've got to work on. But I'm glad you liked the story. Report Review
omg,that was AMAZING!
I'm like, overcome with how good it was.
I'm not crying or anything but I feel as though I've just finished reading a prequel to Harry Potter! [by the way,that was supposed to be a compliment]Author's Response: that's awesome. I'm glad you liked it so much. Report Review
Tears ahh this was a really good story..
Your writing has changed for the better so much! Its amazing!
Good job I cant wait to start the second instalment! -JessieAuthor's Response: thank you. I'm glad you thought I improved. Report Review
Good job again i really have nothing else to say..
_jessieAuthor's Response: that's awesome Report Review
OKay i havent reviewed for a few chapters,,, I LOVE THIS STORY!!! Its amazing :-)!-jessie10/10Author's Response: thanks, I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY!.-jessieAuthor's Response: what...don't yell. Report Review
And down hill it all goes...
-jessie :'(Author's Response: yea it's like turning 50 Report Review
If i want the other version sould you possible email it to me if you have it... im interested in ur freedom of speech.. Springgirl2122803@gmail.com..
Thanks Good job though with all of these emotions..
-jessieAuthor's Response: yea I'll send it to you if I can find it. It's hidden in my room somewhere... Report Review
DANG is all i can say.. that made my heart skip abeat... and wow.. i cant believe the only family memeber that she had to talk to is dead.. and then niki and emmeline.. wow...
-jessieAuthor's Response: yea I know...wow. Report Review
ah that chapter made me laugh so hard! thats what she said brilliant
im really enjoying the story
thanks so muchAuthor's Response: thanks, I'm glad you liked it...that's what she said. Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection