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Review:trixytonks says:
D'ya know something? I quite liked that :)

I'm glad you took my advice a bit on board this time. The reluctance was exactly what I had been talking about. I thought they way it started out was really good, just two friends messing around, hardly understanding their own feelings before it was too late to back down. I actually laughed when they were messing, trying to make the other couple feel embarassed. there was definite passion in this piece, that came across really well. One thing though, and this is more of a personal thing than it is a fatal flaw, but some of the language is a bit too dramatic and takes away from the story, really. The gates of hell bit, in particular, kinda made me do an inward groan. I just don't think that it adds anything to the piece at all. I liked the last line. Very simple and effective, very in the moment as opposed to looking to the future. nice work, lady :)

Author's Response: Thank you, dear. I know what you mean about the dramatic language. :) I tend to do that. I'm trying to learn to balance my dramatic side with more realistic phrases. :) Thank you very much. I'm glad you liked it.

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