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Review:trixytonks says:
While the poem in this story was a nice touch, I don't know if the dialogue was strong enough to support it. I know you were probably aiming for a simpler approach as regards to how it was written, but this could be a lot better - I know you're good at description from what I read in your other story, so my advice to you is to plush this out. It needn't be all dialogue.

Author's Response: Pretty good advice ... Guess the 'all dialogue' can be confusing. ^_^

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