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Review:Sukkumbus says:
Hey hey! Thanks a bunch for reviewing my story :P Glad you think it\'s good :D I think this is a really cool idea. Very rarely have I seen f/f. It\'s almost always m/m. I like it, it\'s good. I also think that you definately have skill . . . however, I\'ll just give you some tips so you can make your work even better. The first part is good, but when you get to the dialogue, there isn\'t enough sesory information. Don\'t worry, for most writers dialogue is the most difficult part. Just think about where they are when they\'re talking and how their expressing it. Like if there are gestures, or one of them shifts their weight, or something like that, talk about it. (An example: instead of \"I dont know what you\'re talking about.\" \"Yes you do, you know exactly.\" put: She shook her head and snorted. \"I don\'t know what you\'re talking about.\" \"Yes you so, you know exactly,\" he replied, crossing his arms as his eyes narrowed. One more thing. A bit more detail. This is a trick I use: for every sentance or description you write, try and think of three more sentances to elaborate. Even one more can really add a lot. It\'ll just help with the flow a bit. I usually don\'t give people pointers (in fact, I think I might have done it once, twice at the most). The only time I do is when I think they have potential. So it\'s just a few ideas to help develop your talent :D Hope I haven\'t been too condescending Sukkumbus

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