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Review:sarahriverhill says:
General advice going all around here.... You really should indent and put things in paragraph form, while it is a good story, it is harder to read when it is a big blob. Second, if you do space it out, then you\'ll attract more readers. Most people (like myself) will open something up and see it is a big blob and is going to be hard to read and won\'t read it. Apart from that and a few spelling errors, those are my only complaints! Xandria, if you don\'t like this story, just don\'t come back. Quit harassing the author and telling him/her they can\'t write. Work on your stories, because, not to be rude, but your style doesn\'t improve any by sitting around insulting people. sr

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