Oh that title ... sneaky good one.
Such a good chapter as usual, there was a really good mix of humour, drama, romance - which is what your chapters always contain but the mention of Commes des Garçons and the political climate as well was such a good touch, because of course Fred wears it and of course Jenny thinks about politics - regardless of what old people believe teenagers think about. I also love that you mentioned anecdotes about things that have happened outside of this trip, i.e. with Quidditch; the whole 'Dom's Doom' thing was funny, and very apt. Also I really enjoyed all the self-deprecation Jenny was doing. Well I don't ENJOY it obviously, that's a bit sadistic. I enjoyed your inclusion of it.
I feel like your writing just gets better and better. Your grasp on metaphorical language is so great, I especially loved this; "Swathed in a blanket of light pink joy, mouthwatering, sour and sweet. I wanted to melt into him, to fuse our bones, to knit our souls."
You just write teenagers so well, and this chapter is such a perfect example of it: Jenny's self-criticism, Dom's confidence, Ella's gossiping, Jenny and James sneaking away, and their brilliant argument at the end. Jenny and James are such a wonderfully stubborn, high tempered, terrible at communicating couple.
And Flora at the end ! Ahhh!!! For all I was declaring I knew something bad was going to happen, I genuinely didn't expect that. Jenny is an idiot for not telling her, her and Freddy are idiots for not sorting this out (it's so funny that they found the figuring out the logistics of the actual plan easier than just telling Flora it wasn't on anymore), and James is just an idiot fullstop.
In conclusion; they're all idiots and I love it
Author's Response: LOL, thank you, I'm glad you think so!! I wanted that to trick some people and have them not know what it might mean hahaha.
Thank you so much!! Yeah, I've always wanted to make Jenny as real as possible. She's honestly a very average person, average marks, average tastes, pretty average looking, as in pretty to people who really consider her, and people do consider her, though there are girls obviously prettier (as there are in real life and everywhere in the world) and she battles the same insecurities as anyone else. So I definitely wanted to include her thoughts on her body, her self-image, and make her someone who acknowledges that she's imperfect and maybe wishes she was perfect, but is happy with the way she is. But I'm also glad you enjoyed the anecdotes! They were so much fun to write - especially Dom's Doom, which is a detail I've had in the archives for AGES and finally had the chance to mention haha.
Ugh, thank you. That seriously means a lot to me. I feel like you've been a part of this journey with me since the start, your reviews becoming a necessary, vital thing in my writing process. So if it's getting better, it's because you've given me insight into my own characters and made me think about them in different lights. But omg, that's one of my favourite lines as well!
Thank you!!! (Again - can't say it enough, you're too sweet) But I'm genuinely taken aback that I get that feedback! I really didn't know if I'd be able to capture teenagers well and it' strange to put yourself back there and try to remember how you acted to channel it lol. Sometimes though, it is VERY easy. Cringe memories come back so fast hahaha.
YAY. I'm glad you didn't expect it hahaha. Jenny IS an idiot for not telling her, she and Freddie ARE idiots for not completing the simplest of tasks and trusting each other to do it - but really, they got drunk and were having too much fun and plain forgot about caring if one of them told Flora ... and James has always been a bit of an idiot. P x