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Review:my_voice_rising says:
I'm sure I'm not the first to say how exciting it is that you've updated! I wanted to be sure to leave a review because it can be frustrating to be badgered for an update, only to finally post a new chapter and receive little to no feedback--but it looks like this chapter is getting its due reviews, which makes me happy!

This story is *very* good and your characters really stand out. In fact it would hold up well on its own as OF, since the characters (except Slughorn, McGonagall and others in the books) are completely of your own imagination. I think I've said this before, but I love that things don't always go Seth's way, and not in an over-the-top, Bridget Jones, "oops I made a huge hilarious mistake" way. It's very realistic and keeps the story going--32 chapters in, and despite this not feeling close to the ending, you've got us all hooked! You should be really proud of your storytelling.

As for constructive criticism, one thing I've noticed is that you could use some trimming of sentences, and removing unnecessary words, particularly adverbs or words like "slightly" or "simply." Also, there are a few phrases that appear often, like "dipping the room into a glow," or "knotting my arms." These are lovely phrases but since they're so unique, and image-based, their overuse is a bit distracting. Honestly this is pretty much my only critique for this story, and could be easily adjusted with some quick edits. I just wanted to leave you something more than gushing over your characters, plot, etc.

I'm intrigued by Albus's role in the story, and how he went from approaching Seth to detesting her, and believing the lies about the poisoning. I have my own theories about who *did* do the poisoning, but I don't feel like I have enough evidence and honestly I'm just so curious! This is one of those stories that I think about when I'm not on HPFF--after reading this chapter this morning, it kept popping up here and there, and kept me wondering who did what.

Brilliant, brilliant work! So excited to see an update. And I hope that all is well for you and for your boyfriend. Congrats on the new job and apartment!



Sarah

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