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Review:TheTenthWeasley says:
I'm reviewing as I read btw, so prepare for disorganisation and incoherence.

Ack I can't help but cringe at Luke being all cute with Jenny. I don't know what it is that makes me uncomfortable exactly, I think possibly I'm just so averse to any sort of cheesiness.

"Luke looked at me like he didn't understand how the two statements correlated. In fact, I wasn't even sure how they did, I just—it just—it was all I could stand to think about it right now." - You know I'm glad you actually included this introspection, because so often the idea of teenagers - or young people in general - being in love is something either scorned at or overindulged in in fiction. The way you write James and Jenny's relationship is so realistic (how many times can I say that word for it still to retain meaning) that the idea of them being in love is totally plausible and not something I - a seasoned pessimist - would scoff at.

"he babbled about how perfect and ironic all of it was. Then he'd babbled earnestly about story arcs and character development" - yo this is literally me about this storyline hahaha I'm actually laughing rn.

The Jenny and Flora part in the woods was very well written. I love it when they interact, and even more when it exposes how childishly selfish they are. I cackled internally at Jenny not only plotting to keep James out of trouble, but for the sake of Quidditch as well and not for his own sake. Other 16-year-old characters would be written to be worrying about the far-reaching effects of their misdeeds, but yours roll with them and don't think too much about the consequences and I am living for it.

Okay so the Jenny/Flora convo got real very quickly and I wasn't prepared for it lol. What Flora said about James being finished looking for someone else, and then Jenny saying that sometimes love isn't enough... y am I getting emotional over fanfiction? Even though this is a story about kid wizards I can't help but relate it to my own life and that's really a testament to your wonderful writing.

You're not going to believe me but I genuinely just made a strangled noise of astonishment when Luke kissed Jenny. aAjfhugsih what !! Omg I can't really process anything line by line but what an exceptional scene that was !! SO much drama in such a short amount of time I'm actually flabbergasted. It's such an obvious thing to say but your dramatic scenes are always so exciting and thrilling to read, you build everything up from the beginning of the chapter (and earlier in some instances) and everything just blows up spectacularly. Also I KNEW there was something weird and off about Luke's gross attitude to Jenny!! Vindication is sweet.

It's so typical of Jenny and Fred to cut off their insane plan at the last minute and realise what they were going to do was unnecessary, although I feel like it's not going to be as easy as this and that something, of course, is about to go drastically wrong.

I really don't know how Jenny hasn't attacked Dom yet, seriously. The more I think about it, the more sociopathic Dom's behaviour is seeming to me. I cannot wait for more of it ;) Your chapters are just getting more and more witty and dramatic and I can't thank you enough for entertaining me over this boring summer. (Also I love reading your replies to my reviews, I appreciate that you reply to everything I say even when it's a crazy long review like this one lol soz) x

Author's Response: Hi! Sorry my response is so late - I just moved back to London so life has been rather hectic, not to mention the WEIRDNESS of everything that's happened with this story and our review/response - but anyways, on to the review!

I know, urgh, god. It's very cringe and and cheesy but also (accidentally on) purposely written that way because it's almost painful how obvious Luke is being and now we know why hahaha. He seriously didn't understand what Jenny was playing at especially after Dom and James somewhat intimated that she fancied him so he turned his flirtation to an unbearable level.

Right!! I mean, most of us are looking for love and Jenny is no exception! She doesn't have a conscious aversion to it (although, who knows, she maybe her problems with the idea of commitment - especially at 16) but nor does she think it's the be all and end all of everything to be in love with someone (she has no idea about any of that lol). But THANK YOU! No - every time you say it still fills me to the brim with confidence and assurance that I'm doing what I've set out to do!! I want them to be realistic! I want them to be crazy and stupid and witches and wizards at Hogwarts but also real people!

But WOW. Highest praise right there. I feel like so often I scoff at fanfic couples (pairings that I love and characters that I love) being in love because I just can't fathom how they got to where they got so THANK YOU. Wow.

You have no idea how much I was kind of dreading posting this chapter because of the woods scene!! (Especially the way it got so real very quickly) Because I knew it had to happen but was struggling so hard to make it happen - so yay!! I'm glad you think so! And yeah - Jenny's got a one track mind hahaha her life is constant battle between James and Quidditch.

You are so flipping sweet and kind - AHHH!! In a twisted way I'm so happy you're getting emotional?! That means I'm doing something right?! AH. Can't get over that. I don't even know what to say - and now I'm emotional over you being emotional.

HAHAHAH YES! The exact reaction that I wanted. I truly do love it when readers have the same reaction as Jenny hahaha. But omg no it's not an obvious thing to say! I genuinely don't know what I'm doing half that time and only after it's written do I see like - oh, that's the climax of this chapter, this is rising action, blah blah so when I was writing this whole thing it was barely a half conscious thing so thank you so much. Your compliments are seriously making me speechless lol - truly don't even know what to say. But yes hahahaha vindication is sweet.

I truly love everyone's dreadful anticipation of the party lol.

Unbelievable self control. Just kidding - she's terrified and hates confrontation and one day we'll see how bad it is (if her procrastination and ability to force a friendship isn't bad enough). But awww!! Writing this story has entertained me throughout this boring summer so I'm so happy to be able to spread that someone else!! (It makes me feel very happy to know that you love reading my replies because I love writing them and I wouldn't even know how to stop replying to everything even if I tried!!) x P


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