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Review:forever_dreaming says:
Hi! This was a great first chapter and really made me sympathize with Eloise. I commend you on making such a likable character, even after only the first chapter; I'm fond of Eloise so much that I actually want to punch all the people who were being rude to her and making fun of her! Like, jackasses. *cracks knuckles*

I think part of the reason why I find her so likable is because I relate to her, wanting to become a butterfly. I think you captured the insecurities of a teenage girl perfectly, and the effects of that insecurity too; given everything she went through, it makes sense that she would be withdrawn, antisocial, and still horribly insecure.

I also liked the subtle introduction of her family and her brother and the role they played--I'm quite angry at them for not reassuring Eloise and making her feel loved. I liked how you developd the feeling of aloneness in often very subtle ways too; for example, even in Eloise's safe haven, books, she could not find someone who was like her. That's heartbreaking and very subtly done--nice!

Thanks for giving life to a very disregarded character; I'm excited to read more!

Author's Response: Hi!

If you're already rooting for her by chapter one, my job here is done, hooray! My own growing girl insecurities aren't that far under surface and Eloise's definitely stem from personal experience -- though nothing quite so bad as hers, thank goodness for that.

Your point about family is interesting, because I hadn't considered that the way they were portrayed might've made matters worse. It does 100% make sense: Vincent, though he loves his baby sister and would kill for her, takes his 'making fun of Eloise' elder siblings duty seriously, and their parents would not have helped Eloise's ego with their constant fretting. The way to hell is paved with good intentions, as they say!

This got way too long, oops. Thank you very much for leaving a review :)


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