"Every nerve and atom in his body seemed to be bouncing off each other, buzzing with alacrity. His eyes were almost amber, glinting with chips of gold, and they were wide, exhilarated, his cheeks flushed with colour. Even my anger didn't put a dent to his thrill. He was a boy, reborn." - Ugh, this is just such a wonderfully descriptive paragraph, I can picture it so well in my head.
I'm so glad Jenny is being sensible (well, I'm reviewing as I'm reading so she could possibly do something moronic by the time I get to the end, so sensible for now) and isn't forgetting how James treated Flora and herself. I felt uneasy at James's feverish change of mind, so it's encouraging to see Jenny not totally lose her head.
AGH I'm going to cyber punch Dom, she is really grating on me right now. You're writing her really well at the moment; she's being a terrible friend (unless she's obliviated herself and genuinely doesn't know why James broke up with Jenny), but I still like her as a character and find her funny. She's fascinating and it's so fun that your protagonist's best friend isn't one-dimenionsal and merely "sassy", she is quite a morally grey person and it's interesting to read.
Omg the bit when they're discussing their plans for the quote made me cringe - not because of the cheesiness or anything, you just put me so squarely in Jenny's shoes that I actually felt uncomfortable about Luke's suggestion that was essentially a declaration of love for Jenny. "My body burned with a tumultuous flurry of hot and cold; doused in self-conscious irritation." This is such a good line, it's legit how I'm feeling right now hahaha. I don't know why I'm so against Luke/Jenny - I love Luke, I just feel weird about it idk.
I love that Freddie is genuinely intelligent and inventive, he's not just comedic relief. And he's trustworthy and wise - ugh your characters are just all so well thought out and as I said before, so the opposite of one-dimensional. "'Is this a case of repressed memories? Because that is too angsty, even for us.'" hahahahaha.
Woaahah what the hell where did that come from?! That was so intense. Even though I love Jenny and James it's so refreshing to have someone outside of their group tell them that they're /both/ being pretty hurtful to other people, and they're both guilty of being a bit self-centred. ("The wand in my wand", I know you'll catch this anyway but just thought I'd point it out).
Aw I hope this undoubtedly crazy plan of Fred's will end up with Jenny and Flora being friends, I get a weird enjoyment out of unusual friendships forming between people. I'm really nervous about this plan - all I can think of right now is that it'll be something like they try and do in Wild Child lol. Jenny is playing a very dangerous game here, and I can practically see this blowing up in everyone's faces already. So I was totally wrong earlier, Jenny is definitely not being sensible. Oh well, there'd be no plot without her being a bit of an idiot :)
Wow my reviews are just getting longer and longer and more and more rambly. Anyway - what an exciting and dramatic chapter. So many things happened but it was well paced and there was a perfect amount of exposition on everything. Looking forward to next one already, see u soon x
Author's Response: Omg, first of all, apologies because this has definitely been the longest it's taken me to respond to a review and I'm sorry! My life has abruptly gotten rather hectic lol. But anyways, on to the review!
Wait, I'm laughing - "I'm going to cyber punch Dom" - LOL. But thank you!! I've found that, whilst writing, I've inadvertently (or maybe it was my plan all along? Who knows at this point) taken a common trope of James Next-Gen fics, i.e. the Freddie-James-Dom-OC square, and made it this twisted, unfriendly thing. I mean, the best friend is slowly turning out to be the antagonist? And that demands that she's impossibly complicated with flaws and redeemable qualities (even if we haven't seen much of the latter).
HAHAHAHA omg no it was so cringe!! Like imagine someone actually saying all that in real life ... generally very awkward haha and even more if you think that person is saying all those things directly at you. But LOL, you have every right to be against Luke/Jenny, even if you like Luke!!
Trust me, I wouldn't even know how to begin with making Freddie solely the comedic relief haha so I'm so glad you think so!! Makes my heart glow because I love Freddie and he's easily my fav person to write.
I know! Jenny has no idea how other people see her relationship with James or even just her at times so I feel like she needed that wake up call (also thank you for pointing out that silly error! It's all fixed!!).
Omg me too!! I love unlikely friendships and who knows ... perhaps Flora and Jenny will find a way to come together despite their personal hatreds ;) ... Oh no you shouldn't be nervous!! ... Or should you be? Sorry, that's an annoying response but also OH MY GOD the fact that you just mentioned Wild Child I just ... you are absolutely on the right track of messy, ill-planned ideas that are outlandish and stupid hahaha. And yes, lmao, you were wrong about Jenny being sensible hahaha. I read that part at the beginning and I was like oh no ... such high expectations of maturity ... lmao
Well it's about time!! My responses have always been ridiculously long and rambly!! But just kidding haha, I absolutely adore your reviews and look forward to them every time I post a chapter so please continue to ramble!! I love and appreciate it all so much so thank you very, very much once again for this wonderful review! As always, you are too kind and I can't wait for you to read the next chapter! xx