what moves this story from being great to outstanding is truly your perfect, nuanced grasp on the intricacies and intimacies of teenage relationships. their beef, their banter, their quips and their insecurities- all wonderfully narrated by the ridiculously likeable jenelle- are so well done, so understated, so clever... i feel like i'm rewatching my year 12 friendship group dynamic from afar and i am LOVING it beyond words!
god, could james BE any more nebulous... its beyond frustrating and i feel for poor jenelle! although her newly discovered interest in luke is super exciting and you know, it would serve james right. and dom, actually! even jenelle is starting to grate on me for her ongoing self-pity and her reluctance to actually demand the truth from james- not a criticism of you at all, obviously, just the lack of persepective all teenage girls have, really!
(yeah, freddie is my favourite character. if you haven't guessed.) and tyra mail? SCREAMED.
funny moment no.2 is obviously when luke called dom out on her theatrics. dom is great but girls like her- over dramatic, life of the party, hideously insecure- have never really /clicked/ with boys like luke- chilled, laid back, no nonsense- and that snap was hysterical. what great character dynamics, and especially hurtful to dom, i'd imagine.
"Dom had accidentally knocked over an entire can of paint all over herself (privately, I felt that she did this on purpose for the attention, particularly Luke's, who'd laughed and tried to help her clean up)"
with dom, it's almost as if she's been expected to play this over the top alpha female diva- commanding the boys to move the furniture, storming out of the game, being a nuisance over the party invite- and idk, its interesting, its almost as if the more she feels luke move away from her grasp, the more she increases it? again, what a perfect teenage move.
idk. i just love this beyond words and your almost daily updates give me LIFE. im speechless @ your ability, your wit and your writing talents... update soon, please!
Author's Response: I love your reviews even more with each one, like I cannot believe anyone would think to give as much insight into this story as I do as I pour over literally every word haha. Can't thank you enough honestly, because these reviews make my entire WEEK.
But THANK YOU, I'm so so overjoyed that Jenelle's simultaneously an unlikeable and likeable character, because I almost feel like all the best ones are? No one's perfect and it's better once you see someone's flaws, in a way, because they're even more frustratingly relatable. Which is what I'm going for haha. Honestly a genre for this story should be SEVERE FRUSTRATION.
But yes!! I think it's so easy to forget that 16yrolds are not all quippy, witty and quick-thinking people. Like when I was 16 I was an idiot and barely had a good comeback ready at good occasions let alone when I've had time to think about it lol. And, at 16, especially as a girl, we tend to romanticise EVERYTHING. A glance, a word, a carelessly thoughtful action. Reading into things is a 16 year old girl's MO.
But no, I NEVER take thoughts on characters as a criticism on myself!!! Ever!!! If anything, I'm so happy to read people's take on Jen and everyone!!! Makes them so real??
Honestly, I love that this has been the chapter that's ignited the most explosive reactions regarding James -- in terms of being annoyed and frustrated by him -- because that makes the next two chapters a WHOLE lot more interesting!
HAHAHAHAHA, Freddie is my favourite too, though even HE has his flaws.
oH my god I'm so glad you picked up on that!!! I've known people like Dom, sometimes I AM people like Dom, because despite having guy friends, I have no idea how to act with a guy I like, especially when that guy is nothing like me personality wise. Luke DEFINITELY gets along better with Jenny, who's similarly untheatrical (to a certain degree) and that, along with Luke's comment, is going to for sure grate at Dom for a while. And it's very in her character to remember these things for a long time, kind of like intrusive memories that flash up every now and then. You can kind of them see why Dom might resent Jenny a bit sometimes, despite loving her to death.
"it's almost as if she's expected to play this over the top alpha female diva" YES, YES YES YES, a thousand times YES. At this point, IS this person even who Dom really is? Or is it an act? Another part in a play? She's definitely outspoken and dramatic, but to what end? Might be sheer boredom or classic middle child syndrome or, probably, because she has no idea who else she is otherwise. But again, YES, Dom, much to her detriment, turns up the full wattage of her antics whenever she feels Luke's attention slipping away. Something all girls do, I feel haha.
UGH, honestly for someone who's written something as brilliant, nuanced and amazing as FA, it gives ME life that you genuinely like this story. Just crazy.
Can't wait to see your thoughts on the next couple of chapters!! AND PATIENTLY WAITING FOR CHAPTER 25 FOR FA IS NOT RUINING MY LIFE. NOT AT ALL.
Just kidding lol. I'll wait forever!
Thank you again darling!! xxx