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Review:merlins beard says:
Hey Abbi! Iím here for a CTF Review to try and find the flag. I so hope itís hiding in here so I can go to sleep 😉
Yep I have been that embarrassed. (like, daily)
Wow poor Lettie, sheís got a really rough life here. Her friends arenít being very helpful, are they?
She sure knows how to pick her literary exampes Ė I donít particularly want to be part of either of those couples.
I get the feeling that Lettie rambles on a lot Ė at least thatís what I gather from the way you write this. If this is on purpose: I command you. If not, maybe throw in some more periods.
Well this changes things Ė Veela Power shouldnít be used like that. I quite agree with fleur there. Dominique is pretty awesome for talking to Lettie and telling her about it!!! Iím very impressed with that maturity and responsibility. (and quite annoyed at Louis because in my headcanon heís adorable and sweet). I get that he might want to use his power, but using it to continuously make someone else embarrass themselves on purpose is really really unfair.
Wow I feel a little breathless now. Lettie sure reacts quickly. I do have a couple of things I want to point out before I leave.
You should add a few commas here and there Ė maybe find a beta if youíre not sure how to use them the right way. It would make this story even better (itís already pretty awesome tho) if youíd add a bit more description here and there Ė smooth the edges, connect the dots. Think about all the senses when writing Ė what does your MC see? Feel? Touch? Smell? Hear? What do the surroundings look like?
I hope this is the flag story so I can just continue reading. Itís very cute and I really want to know what happens next.
Xoxo Anja

Author's Response: Hello!

firstly, I'm sorry that it wasn't the flag story but very happy to have you here!

Lettie does tend to ramble a lot. she's quite scatty really but I probably do need to review the pause breaks. Louis is adorable but not in this chapter for sure. I think it'll be clear what his intentions are soon, I'm a bit in love with this Louis though he's pretty flawed.

Re CC: I'm really pleased you managed to get some CC into this review. I agree with the points you've raised here. I need some extra help with grammar for sure, I'm working a bit more now with a few people who are kindly helping me with this aspect of my writing. you've given some good advice in regards to description, thank you :) xx



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