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Review:Dojh167 says:
Hufflepuff CtF Review

I was briefly confused by you starting what I thought was a one shot with “chapter 1” and then I remembered that I probably said the same thing to you the other night about another of your stories. Whoops! Lots of stories blending together in my over-reviewed brain here!

Hehe I adore that Harry is just a baby but is already being “aided and abetted” by padfoot and prongs XD

The phrase “spent their time planning and plots to take out” doesn’t quite work. I’d make “plots” into “plotting” or add a gerund verb before it like “and concocting plots.” Oh, or just get rid of “and”

It’s ironic, isn’t it - I imagine at school she just wished that James and Sirius would grow up, and now that they have had to mature s quickly I’m sure she wishes they could be carefree again.

Awww, Jily bear hugs ♥

“How she wrap her arms” is missing a “would”

I wasn’t sure what the bad news in this chapter was going to be. I like that you made it Marlene’s death (though of course I don’t actually like that). Marlene is just a name of a dead soldier in the books, and while I know a lot of people like hooking her up with Sirius or Lily in fic, I really like how much weight you’ve given their relationship here. It makes her death feel like it really means something, not just to the war, but to these people who are her friends.

James insisting that they will see Harry grow up hurts me.

Aww ♥ Even though this is sad, it’s also quite sweet. I think it is really thoughtful how James chose something that Lily is more familiar with than he is to help comfort her. Maybe Annie was one of her favorite childhood musicals and he knew it would mean a lot to her. Either way, I am totally headcanon him singing it to her (maybe sometimes not necessarily knowing the words) as they are curled up together.

Great job balancing the dark and the sweet here. In a very Jily way! ♥


Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review (and the tips! I will try and get round to looking at it when I'm more awake!)
Annie was one of my favourite musicals as I child and the song has a lot of resonance with me, and seemed like the kind of thing James would do to comfort Lily.
I think one of the many horrors caused by war is the dehumanisation of people (I get the impression JKR mentions all these people as there is a chance they would have been in Harry's life had things been different) and obviously those anonymous people would all mean something to someone, and this war is getting closer and closer to them!!
Also I

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