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Review:SunshineDaisies says:
THIS STORY HAS BEEN CALLING OUT TO MY SOUL. I love everything about the first Order and I love reading stories about them, even if they are a bit sad. I'm especially excited for this particular story, as I'm very interested in seeing Elphias's impression of each of the fallen members. I'm interested in seeing what you think of the first order as well. Everyone has different opinions on their characterization, and because there's no canon, no one is wrong!

That said, I love your characterization of Fabian and Gideon. They're some of my favorite ridiculously minor characters, they're a lot of fun to play with. I like picturing them as young and joyful, slight precursors to Fred and George.

I also really liked your characterization of Elphias. I think you've done an excellent job of writing him as a tired old man who has seen too much. He is definitely one of those old people that I just love so much. I can't wait to read more about and and get an even better grasp of his character.


And of course, I have to mention how stunning your writing is, because it's absolutely breathtaking. I love the way you described the various wars Elphias has lived through, and the mention of "a glimmer of gold and glory" in the young soldiers' eyes is just so spot on. It's a beautiful piece of imagery and it's so appropriate for the attitudes of the time. I really liked the style you managed here. It definitely sounds like a letter to a friend, almost a natural pattern of speech, but you've also done such a good job of including description and imagery, which is very tough to do when using first person perspective.

I'm so in awe of your writing ability. TEACH ME YOUR WAYS

katie

Hufflepuff CtF

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