Oooh the tension. Wow. I don't know how you do it but it's like it's physically palpable for the reader. Well done!
Anyways, I'm really excited to see where this is headed. I LOVE Sirius/OC fanfics but often find myself left disappointed since they're usually unrealistic or cliche, and I think writers find it difficult to really pinpoint what Sirius was like as a teenager, too. However, I think you've done an excellent job here of both well-characterising him and generally keeping the story grounded.
I really like Chloe, too. I think she's a complex and interesting character, and I like how she's drawn to Sirius for an inexplicable reason, without even really knowing him. It could be that she's idealizing him, or has this idea about him in her head, but I think it's something else. I think she's just drawn to him for no good reason. And I think that's usually how it goes in life, in fact: you initially feel attracted or connected to someone without knowing why, and then you discover more about the person. On a different note, it's interesting how Chloe has quite a dichotomous personality. It's like there are these two parts to her: one that's reclusive by nature and also because of what happened to her, and another that's sick of being so alone all the time, and that sees the Marauders and their friends as a kind of possibility of what could be if she just let herself open up. So I'm excited to see how she develops as a character, too!
Finally, your writing is amazing. It's got that perfect combination of matter of fact and unusual that makes it very unique. I'm also usually not even interested in reading AUs but this story has got me hooked! It's different from Keep Calm and Carry On but in a good good good way.
Hopefully you can update soon! This story is really something else!
Author's Response: Hello! Thank you so much for leaving a review ♥
As for how I created the ~simmering tension~, I listened to a lot of the Moonlight soundtrack and Angel Olsen, hehe. My secret recipe for angsty, breathless encounters. I do agree with you, though; Sirius is difficult to pinpoint as a teenager, and I feel like even my fic is just one of the many routes that could be taken with his character. Here, he's more sullen and less of an outright showboat than I could also argue for. But like I said, this fic is a behemoth of angst and I think the other, aforementioned traits would better suit a coming of age or humor fic.
I'm glad to hear that Chloe is generally well-received. I was nervous about verging on the "wounded bird/damsel in distress" character, between her timidity and the fact that she was so injured and shaken up in the moment she met Sirius and Marlene. But hopefully by now her other traits are coming around, and will only continue to do so as she ages. (I am seriously so excited to write twenty-something Chloe, like you have no idea.)
And you're right that she's attracted to Sirius for an inexplicable reason. Obviously he's physically attractive, but they're very different, at least at this point as teenagers. They both have strong senses of duty and responsibility, but they're manifested in different areas: Chloe in her academia and career goals, and Sirius in his desire to be a hero and fight in the war against Voldemort.
Oh gosh, this review is making me blush, seriously. I love that you said my writing is "matter of fact and unusual" because I was trying to tone down the purple prose that haunts a lot of my older writing, while still keeping a distinct Chloe narrative. And I know, a Marauders AU is so dangerous, haha! Honestly the story has been told in fic so many times--and often times very well--that I was just much more interested in how it could have gone differently, and whether their endings would be the same, had another character been introduced.
And yes, very very different from KC&CO! It's weird that I made such a big jump in tone and overall narrative but *HPFF wont let me shrug emoji so just imagine it*
Thank you again so much! ♥