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Review:MargaretLane says:
Hmmm, this stuff about her finding a way to teach herself elemental manipulation could get ominous. A 1st year trying to learn complicated magic by themselves is unlikely to end well. She DEFINITELY seems a pretty headstrong character and I bet she'll have a pretty tough time once school starts. She seems way too used to being able to do things her own way. If there are any teachers like Snape, she's in for a really tough time.

Poor Albus. He really DOES have a lot to live up to. His father is a war hero. His aunt and uncle are war heroes. Presumably his aunt is also a high-ranking Ministry official who is rumoured to be a possible future Minister of Magic. His mother is a famous Quidditch player. His dad was the youngest Quidditch player on a Hogwarts team in something like a hundred years. He must feel like whatever he does, he's going to fall short.

"Hazing" is a pretty American term for James to use. I've never heard it outside American college stories.

One of your characters describes something as a "bias statement" when it should be "biased statement."

Also, this is all one sentence: ""What a ridiculously bias statement." A female's voice broke in." So there shouldn't be a full stop in the middle of it. It should be "'What a ridiculously biased statement,' a female's voice broke in."

*grins* Rose really seems like Hermione all over again. I suspect the other kids are going to get rather irritated with her on occasion.

*laughs* Albus doesn't have that many cousins - only 9. That's probably below average as most people have cousins on both sides of the family. Say both parents were one of three and each of the siblings had three kids, that would be six cousins on each side, which would be 12, three more than Albus has. And that's assuming all small to average families. Having no cousins on his father's side sort of makes up for having a biggish family on his mother's. And even that isn't THAT big. Despite the Weasleys' reputation for big families, it seems like all of Ron's generation had small to medium ones. It probably seems like more when they are all attending the same school though.

*laughs at him blaming Slytherin for GRINDLEWALD* Your portrayal of James really seems to fit with how he appears in the epilogue.

Hmm, this part about her father attending Hogwarts but "not being able to" finish makes things even more intriguing. Perhaps his parents pulled him out when Voldemort started to rise.

"Candy" is an American term. I rather doubt Hogwarts students would use it. Albus would ask for "a sweet" or "a bar of chocolate" or "a cake" depending on what he wanted, not "a piece of candy."

Okay, this teacher seems interesting. Even his name sounds like it has some dark meaning.

And it sounds like the Headmaster wasn't even a teacher beforehand. That's interesting. Maybe none of the teachers wanted it. Or maybe this person was promoted over their heads for a reason - the Ministry interfering in Hogwarts again?

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