|Review:||Penelope Inkwell says:|
It's me again. Had to go do some other things for a while, but now I'm back :D
This was a good companion piece to the first one, letting us see the issue from a pre-teen/teenager perspective. Whiny James was well-written--I was about to ground him, or whatever you do to punish your kids when they're going to boarding school. Good night! :p The bit about Albus 'not even being good at Quidditch' was a good touch, too. I could imagine James as being a bit self-focused and definitely engaging in plenty of spats motivated by sibling rivalry. I especially like how Ginny mostly handles breaking the news up till that point--she had siblings, after all, and knows what that's like in a way Harry doesn't. But then Harry takes his cues from her, and when Ginny finally runs out of patience, it's like he knows that, at this point, they've reached the realm of the ridiculous and he can step in. I can just sort of imagine them falling into that pattern, where Ginny handles some of the sibling stuff because she gets it, while Harry cannot really imagine being unhappy when you have brothers and sisters to play with that love you (aww, my heart!). He wouldn't know how to relate to it as well.
But then he does step in and that moment is so strong. Poor Harry was all but panicking in Diagon Alley, and Albus was only out of his sight for a moment. But still, you expressed it perfectly--we could understand why. I imagine it must be worse, in some ways, now that his children are being sent off on their own to Hogwarts, and now that he can't be holding their hands all the time, you know? So I thought the fact that his stress really built here, seeming more panicked than last chapter, made perfect sense. Even though he's had more time to heal, the circumstances have changed. It must be so hard for him, in some ways, to send his kids off to Hogwarts, even though he knows that they'll love it like he did, and you really made me feel that.
Besides which, you nailed Albus' reaction. The kind of whiney, embarrassed, why-did-I-get-called-out-I-wasn't-even-doing-anything?? is so preteen. I also like that, despite James being annoying at the beginning, you show him having a bit of that older brother wisdom, too. He knows the deal about his dad better than Albus--I'm sure he learned a bit about it at Hogwarts by now--and he does get why his dad was worried. He doesn't make a big deal of it, but he clearly understands it to an extent. His dad just made a scene, but James isn't embarrassed. Some of that may just be James' easier manner, or that it wasn't his name being called, but I like this brief show of maturity. You're good depicting the ages. At 15, James is stuck between being a kid and starting to be a young adult, so I like these swings between immaturity and responsibility. And, of course, it was nice to see some rapport between the siblings, just to round things out and show that, despite the teen angst, the Potters really are a loving family.
CC: I had one tiny thing, but you should know I'm one of the nitpickiest people you'll come across, so this really is practically nothing
the Hogwarts express
--I believe the "e" in "express" is usually capitalized, as it's a name.
Really good job, here! I'm glad I ran into this little series--thank heavens for blog recs! And I hope to be on to Lily's story, soon! Did I mention how clean your writing is? I LOVE that!
Author's Response: ANOTHER surprise review?!? You're spoiling me! ♥
I'm so happy to hear that you think this is a good follow-up to the first piece! Haha! On the one hand, I'm sorry that I wrote James so annoying, but on the other hand, if I could even make YOU want to ground him, that makes me think I conveyed his annoying ways well, so I'm pleased. :P And OH yes, I think there'd definitely be some sibling rivalry going on in that family! Haha, yes, Ginny knows not only how to handle siblings, but also how to handle lots of boys. The poor girl was surrounded by them in her childhood. XD And Aww.. thinking about the fact that Harry doesn't know what it's like to have siblings got me right in the feels, too. :( I definitely think that, to a certain extent, Harry would take his cues from Ginny, as you said, and step up only when she can no longer handle it, but, because he knows less about siblings, I can imagine there'd be times when things would go the other way around, and he'd try some sort of solution that Ginny would know wouldn't work, if that makes any sense. And yes, you're SO right about Harry not being able to relate to the feeling of being unhappy with having siblings, so I can imagine there'd be lots of moments where one of the kids would say something childish about not liking their brother or sister, and Harry would kind of lose it and remind them to be thankful for their family. (Poor Harry! :( )
Eeek! I'm flattered that you think that moment was really strong! I think we've all had that moment where we can't find someone for a second and very irrationally start thinking they're lost forever, and I think that feeling would just be ten times worse and unbearable for Harry. And you make a GREAT point about it causing him even more stress at this point in his childrens' lives because he's having to let go of their hands a little bit.. GAH. This is twice in the past 2 days that you've really made me want to turn this into a complete novel about Harry dealing with PTSD and the side effects on his children! I'm glad you thought his reaction made perfect sense! And yes, that's something that I hadn't given much thought to before, but it'd definitely be hard for him to see his children go off to Hogwarts. And I'm so happy that I could make you feel what he's going through here! GAHH I really want to make this a novel now!!
Teehee! Thank you for your compliments about the pre-teen reaction! That 'I wasn't even doing anything' whining is EXACTLY what I was aiming for there! And yeah, for parents and siblings, teenagers can be annoying at times, but they can also be really helpful and protective older brothers who genuinely try to help out as well. I'll be honest, I was a little worried that the change in James from earlier in the chapter might have been a bit too sudden, but I'm really glad to hear that it seemed to fit with his age and where he's at on the adult/child spectrum. And you're right, they really are loving, regardless! I'm glad that came across here!
Thank you SO much for the CC! *Squish* I welcome and appreciate it, and you're absolutely right! I can't believe I overlooked that! *hides*
Thank you AGAIN, SO MUCH for these amazing reviews! I can't wait to see what you think of Lily's chapter, as I just wrote it the other day and haven't had much feedback yet! And yes, thank heavens for blog recs - they sent you my way with these amazing reviews! And Awww!! STAHP it Penny, you're making me blush!! ♥