I realized I never actually reviewed your story like I said I would, so I decided to leave you two reviews now to make up for it. It looks really good, and the summary and banner is just amazing. I canít wait to read it really, because my expectations are really high right now :)
I have to say that Iíve only read like three stories that have been structured the way youíve done it here - with episodes and jumps in time like this. Normally I find it difficult to follow, because I never feel like I really get any of the scenes completely - the author tends to jump in time a little too quickly. Here however, I actually think you nailed it. You showed us just enough to really set a scene, and then each jump in time really gave us a new piece of the puzzle. It was like we were peeling of layers to understand this boy, who Iím still not sure about the identity of (Iím guessing Ted Tonks because of the Snatcher-thing and the description and all that, but I could be way off), but itís like 3 AM when Iím writing this so that could possibly be the reason :P
I liked Melinda. Sheís a great OC. I find OCs so hard to write, because they have to believable, and very often they end up just being very Mary Sue-ish. You did great though. It just felt like she belonged in the HP-universe, and I believed in her character. I think her connection with the mystery guy, or Ted Tonks as I will refer to him from now on, is interesting. He has cleared had a traumatic experience (well, heís dead, so thatís very obvious), and if Iím right then itís interesting that he would bond with a Black (because Iím guessing Melinda is a part of the Black family), considering their dark reputation and their role in the wars. But then again, Andromeda was also a Black, and he loved her, so I guess I can imagine him seeing past the name alone.
I love the ending scene. That last sentence is such a good end sentence. It really has an effect, and I think you built up to it just enough. You didnít overdo it, you pretty much nailed the suspense. So I really loved this story. It was great, powerful and tragic, but great. Youíre a really good writer, June. Itís a shame more people havenít reviewed it, because I think you did amazingly for being so new to this site and all that. So good job! I loved it!
Lots of Love
Author's Response: Thank you for the multiple reviews, Lotte!
I do so appreciate them. (Why did I just say it like that?? lol) It was such a treat coming back from my 2 month hiatus and reading your lovely reviews.
Yes, it's about Ted Tonks! I don't necessarily think that it was super important to have his name, so I just thought, let's just describe this man and see what people will think. I'm glad that it came across well enough.
I hope to write more with Melinda. I didn't think I wrote her that well, but I'm glad that you liked her! (It seems like another person did too.)
Anyway, I'm glad you liked it!!!