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Review:Jayna says:
Hello again! I can't believe this is this last chapter! This has been a real pleasure to read and it's been exciting to see Percy change and realize the error of his ways. I'm super excited to check out some of your other stuff for your prize reviews and congrats on finishing this story!

The first thing I noticed was that the very first sentence sounded awkward. I think it's because of the two 'Molly's' so maybe you could find a way to eliminate the second with a pronoun? I saw another instance of this in the sentence about the veil tradition and how Justin will be the first person to see Molly as a married woman. You had two 'woman' and I think it would flow better if you changed the second woman to one. "...Justin will be the first to see it as a married one." I dunno, that's just my opinion on those two little bits.

I think that your last paragraph really sums up the whole story really well and it has a sort of final, nostalgic feel to it which is great. I also really liked this part; "...but also a love for her family he had learned too late in life." That part also shows how he wasn't always the person he is now.

Anyway, once again, this entire story has been an emotional roller coaster. Everything you guys write is super easy to relate to and you guys just make the reader feel the character's emotions. You picked a pretty tough character, one that is complex and underappreciated, and you did a phenomenal job with it. I really loved how you ventured into Percy's formative years to show where, exactly, did he 'start going bad'. He changed little by little, for better or for worse, in each chapter, and I have really enjoyed reading this story from it's beginning to the end. Hope you two wonderful authors have a fantastic New Year!

-Jayna

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing the rest of the story! Oh, these weren't the prize reviews? Cool we can't complain about getting more reviews! ;)

Ah yes that bit about the veil? This was one of those times where the original phrasing was much more difficult to follow so when we changed it, the sentence was so much better that we left it alone. Or if it sounded weird we assumed it was the previous phrasing awkwardness lingering in our impression of it.

Well, we do know Percy came back in the end; it was just a matter of filling in the blanks in between. We're glad to hear we did well! (A real challenge would be Wormtail's fall; I don't know how to handle that.)

Yup; people usually change gradually unless its a traumatic event. Or they're just being difficult and moody but that's a little different.

Thank you so much for your feedback, it really means a lot to us! :D And happy new year to you too!

--Freda


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