|Review:||nott theodore says:|
Hello again, lovely!
Ah, this was an even better chapter! I actually think it might be my favourite one so far and now I'm just left wanting more (and tell me next time you update because I am terrible at checking social media and I miss lots of things, yes please? :P).
Your writing is just... I'm so jealous of your writing, you know that? It flows so smoothly (you edit so well, I never notice any typos at all in this) and it's just all so believable that I love reading it (I don't have tonnes of time right now - really need some sleep :P - so sorry if this review is a little shorter than usual!).
Your dialogue is so brilliant! It flows so naturally - it always sounds exactly like the sort of conversation that you're trying to capture with it and that's so great, because it works really smoothly and it's so easy to get a good reading of the dynamic between the characters who are involved.
And your descriptions ♥ I've said about this in other reviews, I'm sure, and you already know how much I love your writing (like all of it, I want to read all the stories :P) but your description here was amazing. I loved the imagery with the sunsets in particular - that line just grabbed me when I was reading, and I sat back a bit like 'wow'. You manage to balance the description so well with the rest of the narrative and dialogue and that takes a lot of skill, and just goes to show how great your writing is.
Eloise and Cormac ♥ I kind of wanted to see a little bit of that scene between them from Cormac's point of view too, but it was so great to read more about them! I love the way that you're staying true to Eloise's character, though, and even though she's finding herself attracted to him (Susan was so right!), nothing has happened yet - she's not the sort of girl who would rush into anything, especially at this sort of time. But it was so great seeing more interaction between them, and a little bit of flirting, and finding out more about Cormac's family as well. And some of the dialogue was just hilarious :P I can't wait to read more of the two of them together!
It was great to read that things seem to be going a little bit better for Eloise and her family, too, at the moment - I just really hope it lasts and that there's nothing terrible that happens over the holidays. It's great her brother is regaining some of his hearing! And I liked the way you showed the Ministry is trying to maintain a veil of normality with the Quidditch games and things like that while the war is going on, too - it seems like the sort of thing that would happen there, for sure - and sometimes it might even be what's needed, so people don't forget themselves and forget how to have fun when everything is difficult.
One of my favourite things about this story is your characterisation; so often, when I read stories featuring Hufflepuff characters, they're all so similar, and just all so nice. And while that's true for most of them, generally, I love the way that in this story you capture the different personalities, and the individual traits - like the way that Zach can be really annoying, and Eloise's language - and really make sure that they're included so your characters are fully-formed.
The friendship between this group is great, too, and I loved the way that they treated Eloise as much as they could for her birthday, and that they'd been planning it for a while. The birthday gifts were perfect, too, and so sweet - the little things like that really show how close-knit this group of friends is, and I really hope that they manage to get through the war okay together!
Another wonderful chapter, Val, and I'm looking forward to the next time you get a chance to update this! ♥