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Review:AlexFan says:
Hi there, I’m here with your review.

I’ll be honest with you, I had a little bit of trouble following the storyline of the story but I managed to figure out what had happened by the end of it.

I thought the flow of the story was great, you went from scene to scene really well, and even though there wasn’t a smooth transition from scene to scene, the abruptness worked really well with the story. You placed the switch from one scene to another perfectly so that it felt natural for the story to switch between two different stories. I liked how each part built up to the situation that the main character is in at the beginning.

Your wording and sentence structure I thought were really good, this read like something that I would probably read in an English class of mine and then have some sort of discussion on it afterwards.

One thing that I did want to point out however, was one sentence in the first paragraph of the story, “the drapes he has so meticulously and thoroughly sealed,” I just wanted to say that meticulous and thorough mean the same thing, and to me it just sounded like the character was saying the same thing twice. I also noticed a typo in the same paragraph, “shining beckon” which I’m pretty sure is supposed to be beacon, not beckon. But other than those minor things, I think this was a good story.

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