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Review:SiriusAura92 says:
Hey Steph!

Very nice! Your climax is definitely working as it has me itching to find out what happens next!

One criticism that I have though is the constant swapping back and forth between characters in a single chapter. I really do think you would benefit from putting a characters POV in one block per chapter. It will not only make it better to read for your audience but I think will add to the tension and add a bit more focus to your writing as opposed to forcing your reader out of a scenario and get invested with the next one you put them in only to bring them back to the first one again (See what I'm saying?). Eg. Get all of Astoria's story for the chapter done then swap to Catherine's POV and finish with Daphne's.

Even if your just worried about the order in which events happen, don't be! Your audience will pick it up and do so happily!

My one snag aside I think you've done an excellent job here with characters, detail, tension and the drama.
Well Done! :D

SiriusAura92 :)

Author's Response: Hi again!

I'm so sorry for taking such a terribly long time with this update, school has started again and I'm swamped. I am hoping to get the next chapter out soon-ish... I know I said like three chapters ago that there were five left, but that doesn't seem to be true anymore. Still, I'm aiming to be done by Christmas.

I think what you've suggested makes a lot of sense. I'm definitely looking to go back and edit a few things in this story after I write the whole thing. I might even add new parts and chapters into the story, but nothing that changes the plot obviously.

I'll keep your comments in mind with the next few chapters! Thanks again for all your support


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