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Review:Slytherin Eagle says:
Hi there, thanks for the entry. I'm glad you got one in.

First off, a small personal pronoun problem a few paragraphs in - "I still had no desire to branch off from his friends" - should be my friends.

I liked the hint at James being jealous of Sirius calling Lily dear.

"Most of all, I have to thank my friends since they’ve truly shaped the most." It seems like the word me should be in between shaped and the. This is just my opinion though.

I liked the foreshadowing of future events in the fifth last paragraph; it was a nice touch to add in.

The ending seemed like it just stopped, like there wasn't any real conclusion to the story.

All up, the story was really good. I think you definitely got the point of the challenge, and there was just enough humour in there to make it meet the requirements. I quite enjoyed this. Keep an eye out for the results as they will be up around the end of the month.

Lea xx

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! The grammatical errors come either changing of POV or sleepiness and I somehow didn't catch tem while rereading, so I'll correct those.

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