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Review:carry on with your knitting says:
Hello! :)
I'm here for the review swap! :D

This is the first time i've read any LGBTQA stuff before, but this was really interesting and really quite touching for such a short piece of writing! You were able to capture, Susan's inner battle well and the way that Luna reassures her this it's okay to feel the way she does and see the world in the way she does is beautiful! It really touched my heart and melted it a little bit, I just love Luna! she's such a great and caring character who can put anyone and ease and understands everybody and you captured this really well! :) I also like the contrast she has to Susan, who comes across as more grounded and heavy, whereas Luna is so light and airy :)

I did notice a few things (only small! :)) :
'Susan stands still, held n a moment of suspension' I think you just missed the i in 'in' :)

and also I don't really think the last word, 'period is necessary; It's quite an American word that we don't really use in Britain and also I just think its a but to much of a heavy word for Luna to use, if that makes sense? I love the sentence otherwise and it's a lovely way to finish the story, but I think it works without the 'period.' That's just my opinion though, it's totally up to you if you change it or not! :)

Overall it was really lovely to read! :D

Katie :)

Author's Response: Hey Katie,

I'm glad that this got you to branch out and read something lgbt+ Diversity representation in media is something that's so important, and while there is quite limited diversity in the Potter canon, hpff has recently taken great strides in a positive direction here.

That's a good point you have about the "period" line. This specific line is a reference to a moment in WIGOWY where Susan repeats that line to Hannah. The phrase does certainly seem more natural coming from the more grounded Susan than from the airy Luna. And that's a very good point about it not being a very British expression. I'll consider that and see if there's a way I can rework it that maintains its function in both stories.

Thank you so much for the swap!

Sam.


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