Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.





Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:CambAngst says:
Hello, again, Tanya! Guess what? I found some extra time! So congratulations, you're now at 200 reviews! Whee!

GryCReMo (Review #20)

Wow, what a kick in the feels! You managed to pack a massive amount of emotion into one chapter, and you did it without sacrificing anything about the way you write your main character. You never give in and have her scream and yell and spill out all of her roiling emotions. Yet she manages to express so much without saying anything at all. It takes a crazy amount of talent to do what you're doing here.

I absolutely love the way you wrote Fred's "confession" to Josephine. The two of them balance each other out so brilliantly. She speaks a word or two at a time and he's infected with permanent verbal diarrhea. I should state for the record that he's extremely lucky that Angelina didn't fling him off of a tall building for that little stunt with the teddy bear. But it's such a Fred thing to do. The twins are pretty tone deaf when it comes to the possibility -- nee likelihood -- that other people won't find their pranks all that amusing. I love the fact that Angelina is able to frustrate Fred so. For starters, I think he needs some of that in his life. Someone he finds as infuriating as other people might find him. It's very humanizing.

Before I get into the heavy material in the second scene, I have to say how much I LOVED the mis-transcriptions you created for the Quick Quotes Quill. Those were hilarious! Especially the long array of poo-related ones.

Both George and Josephine go through a lot of stages of grief in this. Starting from George's accidental near-mention of Fred's role as Chief Supply Orderer, the conversation spirals into a lot of dark, difficult territory. I love the fact that you weren't afraid to explore some of George's less logical reactions. The fact that he's still angry at anything and anyone that might have done something different to prevent Fred's death. And Josephine's reactions to his emotions are spot on, even if she can't find the words for them. To wit:

It's okay to miss him. You're allowed to miss him. You're allowed to be sad, to be angry, to break snow globes; to be anything you need to be because you miss him. I miss him, too. You are not alone. I love you.

No, not that one.


Oh, you know I wasn't leaving out those last four words. ;)

George's thoughts on his mother rang perfectly true to me. She's hurting every bit as much as he is. So much so that she can't see how her grief is spilling over onto him. It isn't anyone's fault, per se, but it's clear why George would want some space.

The moment the door clicks shut behind him my head falls heavy into my hands, and I, as quietly as can be managed, fall apart. -- A perfect ending line to this heavy, emotional chapter.

Beautiful job and congratulations on reaching the 200 review mark. It's very well deserved for this amazing story!

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 396
Submit Report: