Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Gabriella Hunter says:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with our swap! It's always great to read something different from you too until Broken Memories is back up. PLEASE tell me that you're working on the next chapter! D':

I really enjoyed this! It came off as so fresh and unique. I don't think that I've ever seen the Greengrass girls portrayed in this way and I think that this is going to stand out as being very original. I like the contrast that you have with the two: Daphne appears so hard on the outside but is actually quite sensitive while Astoria may be more insightful than people would give her credit for.

I like the beginning of this chapter too, it showed just how bad things could get for not only the family, but for everyone. I thought that it was realistic that their mother was so intent on staying, there's something about a home that ties people there. It might not be the wisest thing though, possessions can trap you but the argument to stay or leave is something that I'm sure plenty of people can relate to.

I also really, really loved the fact that you don't have the Greengrass family being this horde of bigots. Now, don't take that the wrong way but I've seen the same sort of idea about them more than once. Haughty purebloods that have nothing negative to say about the Dark Lord's regime, merely going along with it until they have a change of heart. I'm glad that they don't harbor such prejudices about Muggles and the like, though I really hope that no one finds out their secret just yet.

The way you broke this chapter down to show more about the girls was good too. I feel like they've been fleshed out well here and you can get the sense that they'll grow as the story goes on. I cringed during Daphne's part though and I know that it hurt her to injure anyone, especially a little kid. I was amazed that she managed to hold her composure!

Astoria on the other hand may have to be more careful. She didn't let it slip that she detested the views in her class but the tears are going to get her into deeper trouble. Detention? God, I'm scared for her. I hope that she'll be all right!

So, great start to a chapter! I hope to stop by again soon!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hello Gabbie!

I am still working on Broken Memories! I've been at the next chapter for ages now, but as you and I both know, I work at a glacial pace. I've been trying to improve lately, but it's hard...

I'm really happy you enjoyed this first chapter. It's actually the first novel I posted here after a very long hiatus. I've been working at it for a while too, so I'm glad you think it's good!

You're right in that it probably isn't wise for the Greengrasses to stay in England when they could have a nice, normal life in America. But people are so attached to home.

The Greengrass family's beliefs definitely came from when I was characterizing Scorpius for something else. He was just so sweet and lovely, I realized that he must come from a mother who is also sweet and lovely. Ergo, her family is not prejudiced like so many other purebloods.

I do hope you stop by the next chapter as well! Thanks for the review!

Stefanie


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 588
Submit Report: