Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.





Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Veritaserum27 says:
Hello, hello!

I'm here for the BvB!

I've only read the prologue of The Shadows Within, so I hope you're alright with me jumping to this story. I thought it would be nice to get a bit of back story on the characters for that :)

This was a really sweet, fluffy first chapter. I liked the light tone that you set. Naomi and her mother seem to be a bit overwhelmed at the suddenness of learning about magic and how the entire wizarding world works - and that seems realistic and appropriate. Of course it would be a shock to learn that you (or your daughter) were a witch and there was an entire world out there that you never knew existed. You've written Naomi as a believable eleven year old - as she's still got a bit of that wonder and awe within her, along with a fair dash of uncertainty.

And I LOVE stories about finding your first wand. Great job with all your characterizations. The goblins ARE intimidating (especially to muggles) and Ollivander was done really well too!

I found one tiny typo at the end:

It was a weird feeling for somebody who had not even know that magic was real a few weeks prior, but it made her feel wonderful.

I think you meant to write "known" instead of "know."

I also really enjoyed the description of when Naomi knew the wand was hers.

Great job!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hi Beth, thanks for stopping by!

I have a fairly big cast in The Shadows Within, which makes it hard to show everything so I decided this would be the best way to pull in some stuff about her friends and things mentioned in passing.

I'm glad you liked the light tone (even though it's, uh, not so light in the main story at times). I figured an 11-year-old Muggleborn would have to be so excited about everything. Except, perhaps, the creepy goblins.

Yes to everything about the wands. I'm fascinated by how people seem to know if the wand is working for them right away.

Thanks for pointing out the typo, I'll go fix that now!

Thanks again for the sweet review. =)


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 920
Submit Report: