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Review:nott theodore says:
Val! ♥ How on earth have I missed two chapter updates on this story? Here to rectify the lack of reviews on them now!

I really liked the way that you opened this chapter, with Eloise getting frustrated by the lack of privacy that she has and wanting to get away from people so that she gets some time to herself. Without explicitly saying anything about it, you've added something to Eloise's characterisation and an element of her personality. I also liked the detail too, because I can imagine that at Hogwarts it would be difficult to get time to yourself.

I really liked the idea of Eloise going to the greenhouses to go and do some work there; it's helped to give us an idea about what she enjoys as a student and also showed another side to her character. I love the idea of Professor Sprout letting some of her favourite students come and spend their time in the greenhouses and do some work with the plants. She definitely seems like the sort of teacher who's more maternal in some ways than McGonagall, and I imagine that she'd really take care of the students in her house.

It was great to see Neville in the greenhouses as well! I love the idea of him being able to escape from things and spend some time in the greenhouses, which would be really good preparation for him if he was going to become the Herbology teacher in the future, as we know he does. You wrote him very well - his portrayal was definitely in character and I liked the idea of his friendship with Eloise, as well as Eloise's thoughts on him being a member of Gryffindor house. I can imagine them being friends with each other and that friendship growing out of the different scenarios that you described here in that section.

It was great to see the way that you segued into Cormac's point of view from the section about Eloise. I really like the idea of him being interested in her because she's elusive and unobtainable, even if she isn't actually making any effort to appear that way. It's different for him not to have girls falling at his feet and so it's great to see him obsessing over Eloise and wanting to meet her again and finding out her name. I also really liked the anger when he saw that she was with Neville, and the arrogance that shrouded his thoughts when he wondered how on earth Neville could compare with him; that felt very in character from what we know of Cormac so far.

The continuation into the Potions lesson was great, as we got to see more of him and learn a little more about his character - he actually is clever but he often doesn't bother using his brains or making an effort. The inclusion of Amortentia was interesting, too. I wonder whether what Cormac smelt in the potion will be connected to Eloise in the future.

From there I really liked the way that the story flowed through to his Herbology lesson, and there he suddenly encounters Eloise in a way that he's probably been hoping for. I loved the detail about Sprout's salary being partially related to how people achieve in their NEWTs because that really seemed believable.

And then Cormac's presented with this opportunity, to be tutored by Eloise, and I really like the way that you've thought of to throw the two of them together and make them spend time with each other - I suspect that, even if Cormac was willing to, Eloise wouldn't have been that interested in spending time with him outside of tutoring, at least initially, if someone had asked her to. I really liked the way that she kept her cool and reminded him of his appearance in the hospital wing, too, which embarrassed him - she's definitely not going to make things easy for him, and I'm looking forward to seeing where things go from here!

Sian :)

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