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Review:Gabriella Hunter says:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums dumping this review on you and I'm here a lot earlier than usual, I think. I'm not sick for once and not at all busy with boring real life issues so hurray!

On to this! Now, I think that its a very interesting way to start this chapter off from how the first one began. It gave me a moment to calm myself down and I also love that there was a bit of humor thrown in as well, there's nothing better than angst/humor in my opinion. The way that the beginning scene is set up is very nice, I'm able to get into Ron's head without difficulty and the supporting characters were balanced and fleshed out well. I didn't get the sense that they were just hovering in the room, they felt as if they were really there, which is also very important for having a lot of characters in the same scene. I tend to have scenes like that winding up a bit wonky I guess but you've done a brilliant job and thank goodness you're doing this from Ron's POV. I've read so many stories that feature Harry and its a bit tiring, yes, I love him too but its great being able to see Ron as a hero in this. You've given him some great canon traits as well, I had to laugh at the whole conversation with Susan even though it was sort of horrible. Hahahaha. Ron really hasn't matured completely, I'm guessing and I also like that you have Justin in this as well, I'm usually not seeing him as an Auror. And of course Neville is fantastic, I have no idea why I want to hug him so much after reading this, he seems awfully cuddly.

*Ahem*

I really loved Susan as well, I think she's a great female character. She's strong and confident and I totally was all for her standing up to Dawlish (Who is still afraid of Mrs. Longbottom, which was hilarious) and I wonder if you'll continue on with her character or not. It would be such a shame if you didn't! D':

Now, Harry was great. I have never written him before for fear that I'll ruin him for life but I think that you've really given him a lot of strength while also showing how uncomfortable he might still be with his position. His leadership skills are really thought out as well, he's not reckless and he makes sure that the team is semi-prepared instead of just tossing information at them and expecting them to be all right with it.

The secret informant had me puzzled for a minute too and towards the end, of course, I could understand why Harry kept it a secret.

BUT THE ACTION! HOLY CRAP! I was completely blown away by how genuine their formations were and as someone who is interested in going into law enforcement at some point, I think you did an excellent job. They felt like a real unit and god, let me tell you, that exploding bottle.my jaw hit the floor on that one. And Harry! What a bold move! Our bad guy got away though and as for him, I can't wait for more. He's arrogant and very self-assured of his own worth and I think that is going to come into play great in the future chapters.

ANyhoo, I obviously loved this chapter so I think that you have no reason to fear from me. I can understand why you were a tad worried though about the sudden POV and pace change but I think it worked very well and gave me a lot more detail about the villains, the Wizarding World and the characters themselves.

So, awesome job! :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi, Gabbie!

The pacing of this one was a change from the first, a chance for things to slow down and let the reader in on what was happening behind the scenes with "Mary Goldsmith" and the rest of the Aurors. I'm glad you settled easily into Ron's head, that's not a given. I tried to keep the characters busy in the scene so that nobody was "hovering", like you said. They're all doing their jobs and interacting with one another. Harry's PoV will come in the final chapter, which is by design. For the middle two chapters, you're seeing him through other characters' eyes. You may squeeze and cuddle Neville if you wish, but watch out for Hannah. ;) Watch out for Susan, too, I guess. She and Hannah are tight.

Susan has always been one of my favorite characters to write, going back to Conspiracy of Blood. Strong, confident and infused with a bit of gallows humor now and then, she's just a great emotional rock for whatever group she's part of. Taking no guff from Dawlish was all in a day's work for her. I giggled myself silly imagining him cringing at the thought of Augusta Longbottom.

Wow, I feel like that is very strong praise from somebody with a military background and thoughts of entering law enforcement. At this point in their lives, the Death Hunters aren't senior aurors, but this isn't their first rodeo, either. They've worked together enough to have fallen into a rhythm.

You'll see more of Jugson in chapter 4. Your take on him is not at all inaccurate.

I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it, and much love right back to you!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!
-- Dan


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