Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:shez says:
Hey there! You requested a review from me some time ago and I became this horribly lazy person over the summer, so really sorry about that. So your review:
Oh wow, this is REALLY good, and I wish I’d gotten to this sooner. I love, love LOVE your characterizations-in the beginning with Snape in the afterlife-the bitterness at meeting his childhood rivals. James and Sirius snark. Then Dumbledore’s whimsicalness. I LOVED it. I wonder (hope) that they’ll make an appearance again later in the story.

Your post-Voldemort Harry is how I envision him to be; broken, confused, jaded-though I can't go as far as to see him use dark magic. But when he used dark magic on Rita (which was a terrifying scene!) and called Hermione-I really felt for him. I didn’t understand Hermione’s reaction though; I feel like she would’ve freaked out a little more at Harry’s shocking behavior- but given what they’ve all been through at this point, maybe they’re all a bit desensitized to violence.

The premise of this story is very interesting one and your writing by all accounts is very solid, and a PLEASURE to read. The Wizengamot hearing sounds very foreboding (though I assume he’ll be pardoned, given that he is the Wizarding world’s savior now). I only hope that you're careful with how you play Harry's character in the future - I, personally, have no qualms with the idea of Harry 'snapping' after the war; I can see it happening- but with many other readers, it will be a much harder sell. So make sure you sell it well :)

Some word choice tidbits:

"Come, brothers. We have... time eternal to argue," Dumbledore stated—Although I get what you’re saying, it might sound a little better to change ‘time eternal’ to ‘eternity’, maybe?

His torso, rising and falling inhaled a breath of the air that did not exist.—the idea of torsos inhaling air just seemed kind of odd to me. Maybe say, ‘expanded with a breath of air that did not exist’?

Bravo, a very solid story! Thanks for requesting and feel free to rerequest!

Author's Response: Thankyou very much! I'd actually forgotten I'd even requested a review :) But, it's great to know that you like my story, especially coming from someone whose stories are one of the most successful on HPFF! It isn't quite Harry that's casting that spell, but more his wand and the problems arising with that.

As for the torso part- haha, that's acutally quite funny I didn't notice it!

Thanks for the review! It was really helpful. I'm glad to know that you understood where I was trying to go with Harry's character after the war.

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 520
Submit Report: