|Review:||Gabriella Hunter says:|
I'm back here with your review and you'll have to pardon me for being so late! I was busy writing and trying to catch up on some of my own stories and wishing I had candy. Hahah.
Anyhoo, poor Cassie! I feel so sorry for her, especially knowing that the Colonel just tossed her aside so nastily. I don't know if I want her to see him again, just to beat him down or what but I can't believe he actually just pushed her away and thought that giving her that poor excuse of a house would make up for anything!
I thought you did a really good job portraying how lost Cassie was thought, the description of her new home had my heart aching. I was able to picture every broken thing and I thought that it was a beautiful way of showing just how torn up she was on the inside. I also personally like that Cassie isn't some raging beauty and has both mental and physical scars and it really sets her apart from some of the other heroines that I've read in the past. I think its a bold thing to try for a main character but I'm happy that you decided to go in this direction, you don't shy away from how ugly the scars are or how they've damaged her self-esteem. The hysterical laugh towards the end made my blood chill though and I was so upset at the thought of how alone she was just then, it really stood out to me.
What also was brilliant were the flashbacks! What could they all mean? I have to know more and I want to know what Lupin and Sirius have to do with her life, I really hope you keep moving in that direction the hints are driving me crazy. Hahah.
That last line at the end was wonderful as well, it really made me feel for Caassie. I hope she gets rescued because I hate to think of her being lost right now, it really makes me want to hop right into this story and hug her. Hahah.
I think this was a great chapter but you missed a few capitalized words here and there. Other than that, it could be a bit smoother in some parts but was a great read regardless!
Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for the review!
I'm glad you liked my description of Cassandra! I am trying to depict her as different. Not beautiful, sexy or anything... She is, as you said, quite messed up, both physically and psychologically, and magic won't do anything on these aspects, I fear.
Oops! Typos are my damnation! I'm glad you pointed them out, this story will undertake a massive editing soon, and knowing what mistakes I should look for will be immensely helpful. Just one little thing... I don't actually know what do you mean by "smoother". It's not a citric to what you said, mind you... I really don't know what you are referring to, if you mean that my style should be smoother, aka less descriptive in wounds/violence, or if you intended that some of my sentences are too long or intricate. It it is the latter, thank you for telling me. Since in Italian we tend to use lots of commas and not many full stops, I may have written too long sentences, and I would be eternally grateful if you could tell me which one seemed too... Wrong in your opinion.
If you referred to the amount of details in my descriptions... You may not like some of the next chapters. Oops! ;)
Anyway, thank you again for your suggestions, and if you don't mind I would like to re request as soon as I can!