Hello, again! Sorry for the long absence, but certain trade-offs were made to allow for the House Cup even and the piper had to be paid. Anyway, I'm back again and using the Common Room review thread as an excuse to kick this off.
TRISTAN had three times started a letter to Emily apologizing for avoiding her and explaining himself, and had three times torn the parchment to shreds. -- After the events of the last chapter it would have been easy to roll right into a thriving Tristan/Emily ship. You've set it up well. Nobody would have held it against you. Instead, you back them up a step, which is pretty much the way that actual angsty teenagers would behave. Pacing, pacing, pacing. This story always has excellent pacing!
Whoa! Of all the things that could possibly happen to a Hogwarts student, I think Snape trying to be supportive and comforting would be near the top of any decent list of the weirdest, most unsettling experiences. Like Tristan, though, I couldn't take any of it at face value. Snape just doesn't do things like this. And then at the end, the other shoe drops. Longbottom Maybe the R name I was looking for wasn't a surname? Maybe Tristan's middle name is actually Rabastan? Rodolphus? You really keep the mystery going!
Aww, it's so sweet that Emily wrote to Tristan's mom. Whether the teenagers realize it or not, that's something solid right there.
"Child of Sorrow" I feel like more and more pieces are falling into place. He was born during the Dark Lord's first rise to power, but well before Harry.
I like that he sees a choice with regard to Sophie where his mother only sees something that had to be done. She's a witch, he's a half-blood who prefers the muggle world in many ways. Makes sense.
Poor Eddie has so many things working against him that I have the utmost respect for the fact that he's willing to make a go at talking to Tristan. Given my doubts about whether Eddie is actually Tristan's father, my respect is that much greater. Poor bloke is trying so hard to do the right thing and I think he really might have gotten there if Tristan had been in a mood to give him have a chance. Kind of ironic that Tristan holds the muggle world in such high regard and yet he completely blows off the earnest muggle sitting in front of him with a hand held out in sympathy.
Ah, the visit to the dealer's seedy apartment. I might or might not be in a position to say that you captured the details of the experience sublimely. Drugs tend to lead you to hang out with people that you'd never in a million years associate with for any other reason. Also make decisions about your personal consumption that you wouldn't make otherwise. Again, excellent description of the physical effects of that decision.
Oh, wow. So Sophie had a boyfriend. Reintroducing her earlier in the chapter when Tristan's mom was talking to him was a small touch, but a really important one. It's a good thing Sophie's boyfriend buys the story about what happened. He didn't sound like anyone you'd want to mess with and Tristan was being stubborn about going out unarmed.
I hope that Tristan finds the wherewithal to buck up and go see Laurel. Probably won't happen, but I'm hoping anyway. He does, however, lower his walls just enough to sign his full name. Baby steps...
Great chapter! It had so many small things in it that added up to an excellent whole. Your writing was also error-free and it flowed very nicely. Loved it, can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: Ha, no worries! Although, your detailed and thoughtful review makes me feel hella guilty for the many nonsensical and repetitive ones I left on Detox.
Yeah, Tristan/Emily can't be that easy. It's only chapter five--where's the fun in that?
Hah, being offered tea by Snape is definitely one bazillion times more unsettling than being shouted at. Snape's fascinations and relationships with students are endlessly interesting. He spends 6 years verbally abusing Harry, but sacrifices himself for him. He weirdly loves Draco, despite that Snape's WHOLE LIFE is avenging Lily, and Draco is of Death Eater stock.
This story flowed in weirdly chronological order during the plunny phase. I came up with Tristan, and knew I wanted to kickstart the story with a woefully timed memory modification--BECAUSE THAT IS SO SAD. That whole idea, that the magical world could be a cruel place in novel ways, was really interesting to me. I also like that Tristan and his mates are kind of anti-statute-of-secrecy, and so were the Death Eaters/Grindelwald and co, but for very different reasons.
Your point about Eddie is really interesting. I feel like, in his own incorrigible way, Tristan actually gave his father more patience right then than he would anyone else for precisely those reasons. I mean, he was more honest than most kids would be in the same situation.
I had WAY too much fun writing the scene with "Spider." I actually researched the history of Sonic the Hedgehog to figure out if it was era appropriate to have multi-player mode, or if they had to switch.
Glad you liked the Sophie play-out! Wanted to remind readers that Tristan started the year in a really crappy way, lest I strain their capacity for sympathy too much with his prat-ness. I really CANNOT IMAGINE how traumatizing of a first time that would be--how lonely it would make someone feel, if the other person couldn't even remember it (and not in a real-world roofie way--which is entirely different).
Thank you for taking the time to review!!!