Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:MargaretLane says:
O.K., even if I didn't owe you some reviews, I'd intended to read some of the other Drowning in Darkness entries anyway (and since I'm finally adding a second chapter to mine, today is an appropriate day to read this). Sorry for the delay with these reviews, by the way. July is a crazy busy month for me.

You really create a sense of atmosphere in the first couple of paragraphs. I love your use of sensory imagery, really encompassing everything she feels.

And I like the use of "fiendfyre" in that simile and also the one of the werewolf stalking its prey. You use language really well.

I think capitalising the "h" in "he" is quite effective here, as it almost deifies Voldemort and I think he does almost fill that role in her life. And her fear that he'd reject her touch really gives her devotion to him a quasi-religious flavour. I don't know whether you intended that or not, but I think it does fit with their relationship.

I like the way she is more angry about a woman taking her place than she is at those who are dueling against him. It shows the possessive and selfish nature to her love.

That part about how all the cruelties she suffered at his hands seem worth it almost make me feel some sympathy for her. She seems so totally in thrall to him.

And I like the way you connect the lack of love she received from her parents with her willingness to do anything that might gain his love.

Author's Response: Hi again!!

No worries, I've been insanely busy this month as well, especially with the HC, so I totally understand.

Thanks for the lovely compliments on my writing style. I definitely get a bit "wordy" sometimes, but with stories like this it works well, because it really pulls you into the scene, and I'm glad it worked out well.

I did actually intend it to feel almost religious, and it's something only one other person pointed out to me about this story. It's always sort of how I viewed their relationship, and wanted to show her selfish devotion to him. I tossed the idea of capitalizing the "h" in every sentence, thinking it might be overkill, but this piece is super dramatic, and I'm glad the gamble I took there came out well.

I've always found her such a complex character, and I don't tend to believe most people are inherently born good or bad, but generally influenced by their circumstances and situations, and ultimately, how they choose to handle them. Thanks for complimenting that, as I do imagine her parents behavior toward her probably influenced some of her decisions earlier in life, and things just sort of spiraled from there.

Thanks for another awesome review, I'm always excited to see a new one from you!

-- Fae


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 511
Submit Report: