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Review:mymischiefmanaged says:
I really enjoyed the main storyline here - it's really interesting to see Annett's magical discoveries while she's at school and you've set her up to be a really interesting character.

Just a couple of things to think about:
I'm pretty sure you didn't mention which house she's in when you did the sorting? Unless I somehow missed it. It would be good to know.
Also, the whole introducing everyone on the train moved very quickly. I personally would have preferred it if you dealt with less characters but developed their personalities more.

Overall it's a good chapter, there are just a few things that could be refined. Looking forward to reading on x

Author's Response: Thank you for another awesome review! I'm glad you enjoyed it :D

I understand your concerns and will go over this chapter with a finer-toothed comb.

As for her sorting: I did not explicitly say what house she's in, but I implied using her roommates. There will be a lot of implying in this story because this is Annett's mind, she isn't an omniscient character despite how observant she can be.

My intent was for readers to process it more slowly than as they would if it was explicitly said.

Something along the lines of: "Her roommates were sorted into Slytherin. . . which means she's in Slytherin. . . wait, what?"

Hopefully, inspiring more thought concerning why Annett is in Slytherin.

More implications to come. . . this is practice ;)

The point of having so many people is to deliberately overwhelm Annett. Because she's overwhelmed, she feels uncomfortable, so she crawls back into her shell of extreme shyness, preventing her from exploring the personalities of these characters first hand.

Imagine being surrounded by so many people when you have lived the great majority of your life in solitude. Imagine thinking "is this what the next seven years will be like?"

In this shell, she renders herself unable to make any friends, despite the train ride being the perfect time to do so. This justifies her not calling anyone her friend for so many years.

I hope this makes sense and I will work on trying to provide more hints. :D

Cheers.


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