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Review:CambAngst says:
Hello, again! I'm back for your latest chapter!

There were so many small things that I liked about Devlin's conversation with David and Maria. Cumulatively, they made for an awesome scene. I liked Devlin's annoyance at the beginning when David seemed to be addressing Harry rather than him. I liked the way Devlin seized the initiative and took control of the conversation. I liked the fact that the propriety of events -- the relative weight of things he should be proud of vs. things he feels ashamed of -- still isn't quite right in his head.

Maria steps in and does Devlin some big favors with her explanation of "the middle" of the events. I've never considered using the Imperius Curse to "fix" somebody, but I can definitely see how it would have felt that way from her point of view.

Then in the end, he tells David the small lie that he must in order to protect Maria and himself. I don't know what, if anything, you have planned for Devlin and Maria, but the two of them really seem to work well together. I found myself wondering whether there was any implied relationship between that sentiment and what happens in the chapter's second scene.

Harry was not in the kitchen, and he used his magic to unlock the top cabinet and bring a hand full of cookies down to him. They were the kind with chunks of chocolate in them, and he liked them almost as well as he liked cheese pastries. -- I always love the little things you come up with to help us remember that this terribly world-weary soul is only ten years old.

So seeing your parents kissing -- kissing for real, not just pecks -- is always really hard for kids to figure out. And Devlin has so many other complications layered into the equation that it's remarkable his head doesn't explode. I really loved the little aside about what kisses were meant to signify in the world of the Death Eaters. Domination and power made perfect sense, because that seems to be the only thing that most Death Eaters are really striving for.

"Hey, little dude," Harry said; his voice was wispy, not in a bad way. -- Busted! And Harry goes all Jeff Spicoli on us. Did not see that coming.

"Maybe we should let Uncle Sirius have this conversation with you," Harry said, beginning to steer him into the hallway, laughing. "He knows all about kissing girls." -- Oh, boy. Somehow, that doesn't sound like the best idea to me. Devlin could become quite a ladies man.

There was thattug again and he suddenly knew he had missed the opportunity to shut up. -- One of life's worst moments: that moment when you realize you should have shut up just before the last thing you said. Poor Devlin. Actually, poor Harry, too. Also, you're missing a space between 'that' and 'tug'.

There was a lot of subtle brilliance to this chapter. Devlin cleared the air with Maria's father, but that wasn't the brilliant part. You took a very commonplace situation, one that happens between fathers and sons all the time, and you showed it to us through Devlin's peculiarly curved lens. Now he seems to be convinced that romantic affection is this very mysterious thing that he needs to decipher. He's even worried about protecting Emma from it! It's cute and funny but also a great reminder of how much ground Devlin needs to make up on so many different fronts.

Aside from that missing space, I didn't see any typos in this one, so kudos for great editing!

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