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Review:adluvshp says:
House Cup 2014 Review.

Wow, this was pretty good, and it almost gave me chills.

Your writing style is very interesting. It matches the theme of the story, and presents a haunting feel. I loved your characterisation of Fenrir, as the 'alpha' who kept turning more children to please 'his mistress'. The whole concept of the moon being his mistress was very unique and kind of creepy. Your descriptions were very beautiful and brought out some great imagery as well.

I'd just say that the flow was a little stunted because at times your phrases didn't come across as smooth. There were also some punctuation errors. I'd suggest giving this a thorough re-read, reading out loud, and trying to rephrase some sentences, as well as look over the punctuation.
Apart from that, this made for a great read and I really loved it. The plot especially was amazing, and your writing style accentuated it perfectly.

Good job!
-Cheers,
AD (AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hey!

Yes, it could probably do with a bit of editing. I wrote this story late at night, in one sitting, and did very little editing. That's my excuse! I'll try and remember to go through it thoroughly at some point, when I'm in the mood (and my stupid headache's gone away). I have to admit there are stories of mine which I am really proud of and care about getting right, and this isn't really one of them.

I'm glad you liked the characterisation! I find late-night writing can do some interesting things with writing style and results in some nice descriptions. Even if sanity and grammar suffer.

Glad you enjoyed it!

Thank you! :)

~ Leo xx


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