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Review:The Misfit says:
Hey, Lily!

I really like this story so far! I'm a little sad that you killed Victoire off, but I'm enjoying the way you're developing Teddy's life post-Victoire. Natalie seems like a great OC and complements Teddy well, and then there's Victoire's shadow everywhere even at Shell Cottage :(

I loved your humorous moments about how Teddy didn't have a phone number or email address, and Christian interrupting at the table just as the important announcement of magic was going to begin :P You're building their romance slowly too which is good, since some stories have ships that feel too rushed but this is a nice pacing, particularly when Teddy has a child to think of.

I would suggest maybe expanding your description a little more by referring to the surroundings, to increase your word count and help the reader picture them better. Also, something that jumped out at me were the sharp transitions between scenes, particularly early on when Christian turned from a two-month-old baby to a three-year-old toddler in the space of a paragraph -- I think a time gap like that could have been moved to the beginning of the next chapter. I'd suggest working on making the transitions smoother.

However, this is still a fantastic story, in fact it's the first Teddy/OC I've read and I'm glad this was my first because it's fabulous and I think with a little revision, it can be even better :D

Good luck with finishing this by the end of the month!

House Cup Review 2014

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