Party! Party! Seriously, that sounded like a fun party. OK, quick formality:
House Cup 2014 Review
I read this chapter last night, but once again it seemed prudent to wait until I was a little less brain-dead before reviewing.
Ah, the Weasley Twins. Purveyors of fine mischief and mischief-related services to the Hogwarts community for just shy of seven years. I wonder whether they found the room behind the mirror on the Marauder's Map or whether it was genuinely their own discovery?
Interesting. When I read this last night, I missed the fact that it was Tristan's idea to invite Wood. Wow, that boy is complicated. Smart, too. I love Fred and George's reaction to being told.
This seems like a good spot to stop and compliment you on the way that you've sought out canon surnames to create original characters. Given the relatively small size of the British magical community, I think that approach makes a lot of sense.
Laurel didnít come at all. -- Is it just me, or do I sense a major crash coming up in her near-term future. Either a crash or an intervention, I would think. Possibly both.
Ha! Sir Cadogan is totally onto them! In fact, maybe he understands more than they do. I guess when you live in a school for a few centuries, watching generation after generation of teenagers pass by, you get to be a pretty good judge of these things.
"June," he improvised, throwing his arm around her shoulder. "And our chaperone only just stepped out." To Emily, he whispered, "play along, it'll make him happy." Hmmmnnn... Tristan, you sly devil!
"That was big of him," replied Oliver, unsarcastically. -- It really was. I'm glad to see that you made Oliver basically a decent guy in the end.
So I feel compelled to stop and ask at this point: How do these students smuggle so much booze into the castle? Bottles of liquor are one thing -- compact, easily hidden -- but entire cases of beer? Filch is slacking!
Every Hufflepuff years five through seven had turned up, as well as most of the upper level Ravenclaws and Gryffindors. Tristan was still the only Slytherin. -- I'll nit-pick you a smidge on that passage, because earlier you mentioned that the collapsed passage could hold around ten people. You might want to tweak that description a bit, because I do like the idea of a large party.
It seems that even some of the castle's "A students" have a bit of a recreational magic habit. I remember kids like that from college, using everything from caffeine to asthma inhalers to stay up and study just those few extra hours.
And then the Weasley twins start puking. Ah, the novice drinkers at their first big party. There's a story that transcends the muggle and magical worlds effortlessly.
The House Elves are so nice to the students. I love that throughout six books set at Hogwarts, nobody was ever once turned in by a House Elf for breaking the rules. Because there's little doubt that the House Elves knew everything that was going on.
I didn't see a single typo as I was reading this chapter, so kudos on your editing! It was a fun read, even if it was a bit fluffy. I think it definitely added to the story. Great job!
Author's Response: First off, your reviews are really thorough and insightful, and I super appreciate that you take the time to leave such good ones!
The collapsed passage behind the mirror crops up in canon, and is listed on the Marauder's Map, so they could easily have found it there.
And yes, canon surnames. With only 35-50 students graduating Hogwarts a year, it must be a tiny population! Also, it was fun finding a character for someone to be related to, and helped a lot with coming up with names (if someone had a brother or sister named, I looked up common sibling names--I also looked up most common English baby names in the mid seventies for naming the muggle teens).
Ah yes, their encounter with Cagogan--my attempt at shipping. Romance isn't my strong suit, so playing it as awkwardness and subtle comedy was easiest for me. Also, it let me bury yet another very big hint!
Yes, I definitely like the idea of seeing a basically good person from another POV (Tristan and Wood the first time round), but Wood is hardly a bad guy in the books. A bit of a jock, and passionate to the point of obnoxiousness, which I could play with--but ultimately a nice guy.
Ah, the excess booze. I figure the older students who are of age have an easier time sneaking things in, maybe? They know magic way beyond what Filch could detect, and they have practice.
Size of party: I will rewrite that bit, didn't mean for it to be confusing. I'd tried to suggest that the space was over-large for a party of ten, because that's all Emily thought it would be. But from my experience as a teen, word of parties tends to spread fast, and become ragers rather quickly.
And yeah, "study spells"--figured there had to be a magical equivalent to what kids at my college called "study drugs."
You make an excellent point about the elves never turning students in. The concept of House Elves was one of my favorites in the books--another statement about power and corruption, and how power is only ok when used to serve others. Also, the tricky issues of exploitation, but also Hermione's cultural insensitivity. Now I'm rambling, but yes, House Elves are potent!