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Review:DracoFerret11 says:
Hello again! This chapter definitely changed things, so let's talk about it:

Plot: WELL. That changed things! Honestly, I was not expecting this. They haven't spoken a word to each other, and this is where the story progresses? Hmm. I just don't know if I buy it. I can definitely see someone in a lot of emotional pain spur-of-the-moment acting like this, but even so, it was just so sudden! I'm glad they slowed things down. That seemed more believable to me. I just can't imagine this happening! Ahh! Suspension of disbelief, come on!

Characterization: I liked Hermione very much in this chapter. I think her anger at Ron and her frustration were very believable. I couldn't believe she really destroyed his portrait, though! I think she'll regret that in the morning. But other than that, I believed her. Her hesitation when they got to the cottage made sense to me. Draco was good here, too, though I can't imagine him suddenly wanting to comfort Hermione by embracing her and kissing her forehead/cheek/lips. I would think he would be more reserved and hesitant. I really liked that he chose to slow down towards the end, though. I think that respect was really nice.

Descriptions: Again, I think you captured the feel of the storm perfectly. The story somehow almost reads like a storm. That makes no sense to see written out, but I'll leave it nonetheless. I think you did a good job describing the scene in the cottage too. It was rushed in a way that made complete sense for the scene. Good job with the writing there!

Emotions: I could still feel Hermione and Draco's pain and heartache in this chapter. I also felt their frustration which was key. That led to the desperation, so I do think it made sense in that aspect. Their desperation to stop feeling pain could definitely drive them into each other's arms. It was just so sudden and so...non-verbal that it jars me out of the story.

Other than my slight discomfort at the quick pace of this story, I did like the chapter! I think writing without dialogue seems VERY difficult and I can't wait to see how you pull off the rest of the story in that same vein. Well done!

--Emily (House Cup 2014 Review)

Author's Response: Hello, again.

Sudden? Quite... it is truly desperation to "feel something" other than pain and grief. This is what drove them into almost doing something really stupid and too fast. I'm happy to read your comments in understanding how this could happen.

But the balance of this suddenness was the withdraw. These two really have known each other since they were eleven years old. They do know each other quite well. They are not strangers, which for me, in real life makes people act on impulse.

Oh, poor Hermione and that portrait. She has been waiting too long and knows that it will never wake. She is beyond frustrated at this point and wants the pain of it obliterated.

Also, I thought them coming together without words spoke of their history. Sometimes, nothing needs to be said when you understand someone on so deep a level. They are middle-aged adults in this and act accordingly, including stopping when they needed to.

I hope this has helped your suspension of belief. :P

Sincerely,
Dark Whisper


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