Hello there! This is DarkRose from Ravenclaw House on the forums here to review for you for the House Cup 2014! :D So, let's go over things:
Great Lines: Whenever an author writes lines that just work so well with a story, I like to mention them. :) So here, those are your transition lines: "And the rain poured down..." and "The rain was his." Those were just lovely.
Plot: I've been wanting to read more of your stories for quite a while, and this one looked so interesting. I'm really curious how the lack of dialogue will impact the story. So far, I don't mind it too much, but I'm really interested to see how it will go. I felt so sorry for Draco when I found out that Scorpius had died. And Hermione with Ron! And Rose with her dad AND her boyfriend! Oh wow. You just pile on the emotional punches. I really wonder if Hermione will give Scorpius's ring back. I would hate my mother if she did that to me (if I were Rose), but I can also understand why Draco wants it. Overall, this is just really intriguing, and I can't wait to see how this story develops.
Characterization: I think you captured Draco and Hermione perfectly. I love seeing them more grown up and mature and dealing with tragedies. Sadly, life has a lot of those, and I think you're showing them very realistically. The way their sadness affects the weather is really unique and lovely and poetic. Beautiful job.
Descriptions: I loved the details you provided in this chapter, especially the description of Hermione's cabin. I can't wait to see more of that. It sounds so peaceful.
Emotions: Wow. Just...wow. Really great. You captured the emotions of Draco, Hermione, and Rose so flawlessly. I was shocked to hear that Rose was in St. Mungo's, but it instantly made sense and I'm so sad about it. Draco's sorrow and loss are so evident, and Hermione's are still so present despite the time that's passed since Ron's death. I'm curious to know how Ron and Scorpius died, and I can't wait to read more.
This first chapter was so interesting! You're doing a great job. Well done and good luck to Slytherin in the House Cup!
--Emily (House Cup 2014 Review)
Author's Response: Hello, Dark Rose that haileth from the House of Ravenclaw. :)
My apologies for taking so long to respond, but I am going through a backlog of wonderful reviews in which I have failed miserably to answer.
Thank you so much for mentioning those lines. Yes, the rain was his, indeed. And yes, lack of dialogue is quite the challenge, but what I loved was the freedom to choose our pairing and storyline.
And the ring... yes, I probably would hate my mother also, but as a parent, I can understand wanting the ring returned as well.
Thanks so much for mentioning their characters in their grief. Yes, life has a way of making it all tragic. I'm so glad that you like how their emotions effect the weather, but the credit here is to JKR.
I love her little magical cabin as well. I thought to give her an escape from her memories of Ron and give her some space as she attempts to move on with her life.
Emotions... well, I do love a sad story and each person has their own perspectives in this based on who they've lost. Poor Rose in this as she has lost two people she loved the most.
Thank you so much for your wonderful review. The depth has left me speechless for too long. My heart thanks you,