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Review:Lululuna says:
Hello! :)

This is really interesting so far! I like Rose and the cast of characters who are set up, and especially enjoyed in the last chapter with how both James and Albus hid their father's artifacts from one another by putting them in the girls' dorms. That was a really nice detail that stood out. Goyle and Malfoy are interesting as well, and I'm curious to learn more about why exactly Rose and Scorpius hate each other so much, other than their family names. Goyle is so creepy as well though he seems a little more articulate than his father was. I think that you did a good job of showing why Goyle and Malfoy would think of inviting Rose: she was there at the right time for the idea to occur, and the bet made sense for why they would want her there.

The Dragon Club actually sounds like a lot of fun, and I liked how welcoming they were and how open your characters are about inter-house friendships. The tattoo idea is especially interesting. I originally wondered if there was some more sinister background to the club, and perhaps it has a bit of a sketchy history at times, but so far it just seems like a really great thing for Rose.

If I could offer one piece of advice, it's that the story is flowing very quickly right now. You've introduced a lot of interesting moments and anecdotes, like Viola, and even the Fat Lady's cameo, and expanding on those and slowing down the pace of the story could make it even more impactful. Just a thought in case you ever feel like coming back to edit and need something to go off of! :)

Great job!

House Cup 2014 - Educational Decree 1

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