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Review:Infinityx says:
Hi! I'm here to review your story. (I would bomb it but I'm waiting for the edits to get done)

I love how you've started the first chapter using a canon event. That held an element of surprise as the Dramiones which I've read, were Post Hogwarts, and had the cliched story of Ron cheating on Hermione, and Draco magically appearing into Hermione's life. Here, when I read about that common room scene, my first thought was 'whoa, not what I expected. How's she going to make this work?' Excellent beginning!

Poor Hermione. I never really understood what she saw in Ron, but it was obvious that she was smitten with him for a long time. I do think that if she'd done something to let him know, they could have gotten together much earlier. Anyway, I'm digressing.

I love the way you've described that steamy moment between Ron and Lavender in an indirect way, through Hermione's thoughts and feelings. The part where Ron extends his hand really touched me, for I thought there was going to be a twist and it would be a happy ending to the chapter. (even though I knew that wouldn't happen). And the final reveal was perfect!

Of course she would enjoy a class that didn't mean anything in life and fell for the sporadic words, or prophesies as she liked to call them, of Professor Trewlany.
It took me a couple of reads to figure out exactly what you were trying to say in this sentence. Maybe you could rephrase it? Like:
Of course she would enjoy a class that didn't mean anything in life and fell for Professor Trelawney's sporadic words, or prophesies as the teacher liked to call them.
There's a repetition of "she" in the way you've phrased the sentence originally, and that could refer to either the Professor or to Lavender, so if you could specify that, it would be clearer. :)

Lovely start hon! I am completely drawn in by this chapter, and really excited to read on, which is surprising because I don't like most Dramiones! Good luck! :)

~Erin

House Cup 2014, Event 5.

Author's Response: Gosh this review is just amazing! Its a huge compliment to hear that even as a non-Dramione lover, you were still able to enjoy this chapter and it made you want to read more of it! I really like the idea of having the dramione start in school, which is sort of how this idea came about. It was between that and the fact that I love dramiones but even to me it seems that most tend to follow the same plot line so I wanted to challenge myself to make a dramione that could happen in the books. So I'm glad that you agree and think that this makes my story interesting! I can see what you are saying about that sentence as well and will definitely take a look into getting that changed around so it will flow a lot better! Thank you so much for this wonderful review and I do hope that you will come back to this story some time.

~Slytherinchica08~


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