Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Lululuna says:
Hello! :)

This is quite interesting so far! I dabble a bit into reading Dramiones, tending to judge them on the quality of the story and not the ship, but I think that so far this seems to fit quite well into canon. I like how the scene is very similar to what happens in HBP, with Hermione's POV and Ron and Lavender, but just shows what could have happened if Hermione happened to go to the Room of requirement rather than an abandoned classroom.

Hermione's feelings of insecurity and loneliness at the beginning were really well written and relatable. The feeling of rejection that she had and her heartbreak over Ron felt realistic, and I could see how this hurt and anger could lead to her and Ron being in that fight for several months. It explains why their relationship was so catastrophic without just brushing it side to make room for Draco to swoop in, so I think you're definitely doing something right with showing why Hermione likes Ron, but also why they're perhaps not right for one another. But I have to say, there was a part of me that wanted Ron and Hermione to run off into the sunset together here, leaving Lavender and Draco behind! :P

Hermione's comments about not finding companionship and comfort in books and her insecurities about being teased felt very realistic as well and I'm glad you wrote it that way. She seems quite in character so far. I thought that Draco did as well: at this point in Hermione's life at least she only sees him as malicious and looking to embarrass her, so I'm glad that he's not rushing in to save her from her emotions, but is up to his old, rude tricks no matter what's going on with him.

I haven't read the pre-edited version of this chapter, but so far the writing feels quite mature and concentrating on Hermione's emotions in a strong and realistic way. If I could offer any constructive comments, it does feel like there is some repetition, especially when Hermione keeps thinking about how she wants to just be alone, so that section could perhaps be tightened up a bit to maximize the impact and the brief hopelessness of the moment. But overall, a very good start that I really enjoyed! :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 422
Submit Report: