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Review:teh tarik says:
Hey Dan!!

I'm back for Chapter 3. I saw you posted this earlier in the week, but I was all wrapped up in that HC writing frenzy. :P

Anyway, first, I thought it was a great choice to write through Justin's POV. I remember the previous chapter was seen mostly through Ron's eyes, and I think this POV-switching between chapters is really effective. It's always great to see Harry from someone else's perspective, and not to mention you're developing a whole bunch of minor characters as well, which is always something I enjoy reading. Also, it's great to see how each of these former DA members carry out their newer, more dangerous responsibilities.

I love how you start the chapter with all that friendly banter and light humour.

Susan had a concussion, second degree burns, lots of cuts from the flying glass and a broken collarbone from the Hogwarts Express over here landing on top of her.

There's nothing funny about a concussion and burns and all, but describing Ron as the 'Hogwarts Express' just made me choke up a little. I imagine it was both his thunderous snoring as well as his red Weasley hair that led Justin to make such a perfect comparison between the two?

And Harry is incredibly well-written here. Badly injured, and yet that means absolutely nothing to him. You've got a marvellous handle on his character, did I mention this earlier? He's selfless and utterly dedicated to his job of saving people (hah, the 'saving people thing' that Hermione was talking about!). To the point of being a bit obsessed, really. And I love how he stirs up all that ruckus with the Healers by refusing to comply with their orders and such. Harry never had much respect for authority and rules when it got in the way of his plans; hmmm, it's a graet thing that he's actually a pretty decent guy. Evil!Harry would be quite a formidable force, I must say.

The tough old nurse character was refreshing! I love how she dishes it straight to the guys, even though they're probably the real good ones this time. Aurors are usually such highly respected positions in the wizarding world, and to see differing opinions on them is always great. And I imagine being such highly-esteemed members of society, some of them (*cough Dawlish cough*) are bound to get a little full of themselves.

The scene with Teresa the Muggle was greatly disturbing. The way she spoke, referring to Jugson as Master...I'm not sure exactly what Jugson put her through, but it's kind of broken her. The way she speaks is almost like a house elf; it's very strange and very unsettling.

And FINALLY THAT MOMENT. The bit where Teresa reveals that Jugson turned her son into a dog. I was a bit disturbed at the dead dog in the previous chapter but I never, never thought it would actually have been a Transfigured human...a child, even. You know, you watch all the TV shows and everything, and they never ever kill the child, even for some pretty gory horror slasher thing. SOmehow, the children always escape. Not in this chapter. So I guess I got a huge shock at that. I must say, I kind of hate this Jugson bloke.

And you ended this chapter perfectly well with the final segment between Justin and Harry. I love their contrasting opinions, and how everything is shades of grey, the morality of certain actions. Harry's choice is pretty straightforward, pretty Harry-like, and that the truth is always the most important, and that people should not be kept in the dark, nor their rights to the truth denied. But Justin argues on more compassionate grounds, and it's pretty hard for the reader to even take a stance on this. I think this final bit increased the complexity of your fic by a great deal.

Excellent chapter, Dan! Incredibly disturbing, intense, and I hope you write more, soon!

-teh

Author's Response: Hi, there! Always a pleasure!

In my original plan, I was going to write this chapter from Ron's PoV, but then I used Ron for the last chapter. Justin seemed like a really interesting choice because he is a quiet guy, a muggle-born and he's not part of the Trio.

Poor Susan. You figure Ron has to be 8 inches taller and 40 or 50 pounds heavier. Not somebody you want to land on top of you. I think Justin's comparison was just based on the snoring, but now that you mention it...

Harry can't stop being Harry. He's determined to stop Jugson from hurting anyone else and he feels his chance slipping away. He's not a very good patient.

The nurse has seen it all in her time, and she has no patience for Ministry career-climbers who put their own selfish goals ahead of the welfare of her patients. She doesn't understand where Harry, Ron and Justin are coming from in the beginning, but she is willing to change her mind.

In every crime story, there has to be a victim. Teresa's encounter with Jugson has taken nearly everything from her and I thought Justin's reaction was pretty similar to what a lot of folks would feel. Like Harry and the old nurse point out, however, there are lots of valid reasons -- practical ones, philosophical ones, moral ones -- why it would be wrong to just take her past away and spare her the pain.

I'm glad that the disturbing aspects didn't disturb you too much. I think that stories about Death Eaters need to have that harsh edge to them, otherwise they're just not realistic.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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