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Review:roisin says:
Teufelshunde! Devil dog! Love it.

What an incredibly tense and compelling start. This was fun, because we all know HP super well, yet you managed to lend mystery to the introduction. Your pacing and reveals were brilliant, and your command of dramatic irony was really fun. "An Auror and a pair of school children"--I took that pair to be Harry and another DA member.

Imperio never really got as much disturbing play as the other Unforgivable Curses in the books, but you make a really good case for it here. The sadism you described was really well-realized, and truly upsetting.

I felt like there was one too many spaces between paragraphs, but it was consistent, so it didn't distract.

Also, I really liked some of the more nuanced points about a post-war society; borders closing and all that.

I definitely cringed at the sexual asault moments, but I mean, one SHOULD cringe. I almost think that you could have gotten the nastiness of the character across with less, but I might just be being a pansy.

But, on a super positive note, no errors jumped out at me. The formatting was consistent, your tense stayed firmly in place, and either your grammar/spelling was perfect, or I was too taken up in the story to notice (so, good on you either way).

Also, I really enjoyed that you kept the minute countdown as a theme.

Great start!
-Roisin

("asault"--silly bot thought my correct spelling was naughty)

Author's Response: Hi, there!

I think you're the first person to get the meaning of Kaspar's last name. Definitely the first one to comment on it. Thanks for noticing!

This chapter was a bit of an experiment for me. I wanted to try dropping the reader into a situation where they would recognize nothing from the books and then gradually flesh out the date and the setting using Kaspar's thoughts. I didn't have anyone specific in mind for the Auror and pair of school children. Just one of the Aurors who arrives after Voldemort's death and two of the defenders of Hogwarts.

Not that I set out to upset anyone, but I'm glad you found Kaspar's casual sadism made an impact.

I got in the habit of throwing that extra blank line between my paragraphs because I find, at least for me, that spacing the page out a bit more makes a story easier for the eyes to follow.

Yeah, Kaspar does some pretty cringe-worth things in this. They don't quite come through to their most horrible conclusion, but only because the Aurors intervene.

I'm glad you didn't see any errors. I will be sure to send extra cupcakes to my beta reader!

I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it! Thanks for the very detailed and thoughtful review!


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