Hi there! Saw you wrote this for the one quote challenge and thought I would check out my competition ;)
So, I had a mini heart attack at first because of your summary being about why you didn't want to fall in love with a veela and I thought we wrote like the same thing, but then I was pleasantly surprised on your take on the veela gene. I thought you did a great job writing from the POV of Victiore, a person who can't really control her magic. You can kinda draw a parallel with Dumbledore's sister (sorry, having a brain fart at the moment and can't remember her name), but probably with more coherent thoughts.
I liked how you showed her go through all those different methods to try to calm down, but in the end, it was Jack that was the true thing that could calm her dow. I liked how you put the little snippets of her life, like the scene with her teacher, to show us what her life has been like instead of just telling us. You did what my english teacher always tells us students to do, "Show, don't tell!" Kudos to you. I thought your writing was very good and the story lines flowed right into each other. I can tell you spent time figuring that out and it really adds to the story. All in all, great job! You should be proud of this!
Author's Response: Hey, Mary!
Oh, thank you so much, although I'm not sure that I stand a chance against you. ;)
Yes, I had a bit of a scare when you sent your oneshot to me for beta-ing! But we focus on pretty different aspects of Veela behaviour and the Veela gene, so I figured it was still okay to post this. :P I'm so glad you think so, thank you so much! I actually didn't really think of Araina Dumbledore when I was writing thins, but you're definitely right, you can draw a parallel between the two with their out of control magic and their desperate attempts to control it.
Thank you! Yes, I always tell people to show and not tell so I'm really happy that came through in my story or else I'd just kind of be a terrible hypocrite and I desperately don't want that. :P Anyway, tangents. I'm so bad at staying on topic. I'm glad that you liked the different techniques they tried on her (even if they sadly didn't work). I did spend a while worrying about the flow of the story, yes, so I'm really glad that it worked! I don't quite remember now (oops, I'm terrible) but I think that I took a break in the middle of writing it because I had a bit of a block and wasn't sure where to go, so I'm doubly glad that the whole thing still flowed okay, thank you!
Thanks for an amazing review, Mary! :D